


Ternary

by aquarius_galuxy



Category: Shiritsu Horitsuba Gakuen, Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: M/M, Multi, twenty-six thousand words that will surprise you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-23 05:22:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4864652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquarius_galuxy/pseuds/aquarius_galuxy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Is it possible to forget your first love?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Someone to Love

**Author's Note:**

> So much to say, and yet not much at all. This fic is one I hold near and dear to my heart.
> 
>  **Ratings of future chapters will be increased to M.** There is KuroFai and FaiYuui, but this really is about the KuroFaiYuui alloy. 5 parts total. Set in the SHG universe, but with a few tweaks.
> 
> Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle/Shiritsu Horitsuba Gakuen and their characters do not belong to me.

_orange_  
_is the glimmer of sunset as we link pudgy fingers_  
_and yearn through a too-high window_  
_orange is the seep of crimson through yellow roses_  
_(our blood, your love)_  
_ivory bleeding into sunshine into red-rimmed jealousy_

**i.**

The sun shines bright overhead, rimmed with wispy clouds and birds fluttering high in the sky. People are calling out to each other for soccer ball passes; there is the sharp rattling  _BREEP_  of referee whistles, and the pattering of dozens of sports shoes on red rubber track. The school bell rings, and it's as if the hilly foundations of the school are vibrating right along with it.

Fai cares about none of that. He's tripping and loping along the crisp verdant grass of the school field, hurrying to catch up with the only boy in his class taller than he is. (Yuui doesn't count, Yuui is his height.) "Kuro-rin!" he calls, "how was your weekend?"

"Huh?" Tall, Dark And Handsome turns around, crimson eyes narrowed at him, and Fai smiles the brightest smile he's got. His stomach gives a jolt. (His stomach always gives a jolt.) "What d'you want?"

It's common knowledge that Suwa Kurogane is seeing that other tall, stoic guy on the archery team, Doumeki Shizuka. The girls coo about it when they see the pair along the corridors, ties and shirts and pants neatly pressed, towering and dark-haired and without any interest for common fare like them. Fai watches them sometimes. (He's been watching for months, now.) It makes little bubbles of jealousy eat into his gut.

"I'd just like a date with you," he blurts hopefully, like the many other times he's tried pestering the other boy (because how else is he to get Kurogane to look at him?) He tries another smile. "I promise I'll try not to call you silly nicknames!"

Kurogane huffs irritatedly, keeps on walking. Fai skips along at his side, pushing his chewed thumbnails into the joints of his fingers to remind himself not to throw his arms up like he always does when he's excited, or nervous.

"Please? We could be good together," he continues, licks his dry lips. His heartbeat thuds loud in his ears. This boy in front of Fai is almost everything to him (there is Yuui too, but this is different). Red eyes are half his world (Yuui makes up the other half), intense shades of ruby he dreams about and yearns for. This boy is brave and strong and honest and all the things Fai aspires to be but can never attain.

"You've bugged me countless times," Kurogane says eventually, gracing him with a sidelong scowl. "Do I have to say it plainly so you know?"

"Know what?" Fai echos. "If we don't go out, how would you know if we're a match?"

(All he wants is a touch. A hug. A kiss. Please?)

"I don't have to," the other boy mutters. "Look, Flowright, you aren't my type. It's as simple as that."

"I'm not—" He blinks, and blinks again, trying to absorb those words even though his mind vehemently refuses to. "I'm—"

"There won't be an 'us'," Kurogane says, and it feels like he's pushing a very sharp knife into Fai's chest, inch by slow inch. "Listen to the way you talk, and ask yourself if I'd want to put up with that. Think about it."

His feet drag to a stop and the edges of his vision cloud over, like he's watching the back of the other boy through a tunnel that's growing increasingly longer.

By the time he stumbles to the boys' locker room, Yuui is hovering at the narrow doorway and glancing up at the stream of students trooping down the concrete grandstand stairs for their next class. "Fai? What took you so long? I saw Kurogane and— Fai?"

His brother is a blur of sunshine hair and large blue eyes and Fai sucks in the first large gulp of air he's managed in a while.

It hurts, and Yuui's tight hug doesn't help remove the ache trapped within his ribs.

They're late for their next class, Yuui's cleaned him up so his bloodshot eyes and red nose aren't all that obvious. When they mumble their apologies and step into the classroom, Fai keeps his head down and forces himself not to wonder if Kurogane is happy now.

* * *

**ii.**

Yuui isn't fond of Kurogane.

Fai knows it's because of what the taller boy did that morning on the school field. If anyone hurt Yuui like what Kurogane did to Fai, Fai wouldn't be able to forgive them, either. As it is, he doesn't know what to do with the constant hollow in his chest, so he tries to ignore it.

It seems to work after a while, after he's suppressed his heart and feelings so it doesn't hurt. Fai still smiles for Yuui—he remembers how to smile with both his eyes and his mouth, and he wonders if Yuui knows. He doesn't feel as happy anymore, doesn't feel as sad anymore, doesn't feel very much at all anymore. But it works, and so he's fine with it.

He doesn't talk to Kurogane anymore, either.

* * *

**iii.**

Life goes on.

He wakes up in the same room as Yuui, reaches over to hold Yuui's hand over the seam of their beds pushed together, and they talk about their dreams of the previous night. Yuui is the one to make coffee and chide Fai for adding too much sugar to his, he is the one to throw a quick omelette together while Fai brushes his teeth and trips over the scattered pillows on the floor.

Fai scribbles the last of their homework (he makes sure to cross t's the way Yuui does them, and write fours with the gaps at the top), shoves the papers into their bags, and lounges around while his twin tidies the rest of their little apartment. He writes the letters to Ashura in his writing, then pretends to be Yuui and writes his portion, too, and hands the crinkly sheets to Yuui, who proofreads the letters on their way to school. Fai holds his hand so he doesn't trip.

Sometimes, he thinks about Kurogane, and wonders if the other boy would accept his brother, if Yuui were ever the one to love him instead. He doesn't know if whatever he felt for Kurogane was love, but it was so strong and pounded in his veins that it could very well be. It has since been swept into a cupboard and locked up so it doesn't hurt.

He wonders if Kurogane misses him at all. (Probably not.)

He wonders what Kurogane is doing with Doumeki, if they walk home together, and whether they kiss and have sex. (He could be so much better than Doumeki, if he had the chance.)

Sometimes the girls whisper that they've seen Doumeki with Kurogane out on the streets somewhere during the weekend, and Fai pretends not to hear and walks quickly away.

Once, he asks Yuui, while they're waiting at the foot of towering apartment buildings for a traffic light to turn green, "what if you pretended to be me? You're more like Doumeki than I am. What if Kuro— Kurogane doesn't mind blonds? What if you tried chatting him up?"

( _You're not my type_  still rings in his head, and he knows that he can never be silent and stoic like Doumeki.)

Yuui stiffens; his fingers tighten around Fai's. "No."

(At this point, Fai can sure be as apathetic as Doumeki, though.)

The blue eyes staring back at him are cold, and his twin clenches his jaw. "I think you're better off staying away from Kurogane."

He tries to tease. "Do you like him yourself, Yuui?"

Yuui frowns, and a flicker of anger touches his eyes. "Don't even suggest that, Fai," he hisses, "you know how I feel about him. He hurt you."

Yuui never confronts Kurogane about that incident. Fai thinks he should be indignant, but he isn't. He's happy that Yuui still loves him more than anything else in the world, and he loves Yuui just as much. Maybe even more so.

* * *

**iv.**

It is close to the end of the school year, and they're filling out college applications whenever they have time to spare at home. Yuui's desire to enroll in the famous Italian culinary school is burgeoning; Fai knows it's the one place that will take his twin's skills in the kitchen to the greatest heights.

He loves Yuui, so he doesn't mind that Yuui will be away from him, if it means it'll help his twin succeed in his dreams of becoming a chef.

It doesn't stop him from missing Yuui even before he leaves. His own college applications are easy—he doesn't need to have them translated and so on, after all, and there are plenty of colleges in Japan offering chemistry as a major.

(He likes things that go  _boom_. Especially when they go  _boom_.)

Fai snuggles close to Yuui one day while they're on the couch watching a cooking show on TV, between practicing Italian phrases with each other. "Yuui," he whispers, "have you thought about what it's like to kiss?"

It's occurred to him plenty of times before, when all he had was eyes for Kurogane, and later on, crushes on random boys around the school. But the romances he's fantasized about have never come to fruition, and the glorious ideal of saving oneself for a special romantic partner has grown jaded and moldy with time.

"We've talked about this before, haven't we?"

"We've talked about it," Fai answers with some reluctance, "but I've had enough of talking. I want to know. Please?"

Yuui smiles at him then. "I thought you'd never ask."

Yuui is special—the most precious person in the world to him. Fai returns the smile and leans in, and they learn to kiss with the TV shining bright in the background.

(They do other things, too, things that feel like explosions, and Fai finds himself hooked.)

* * *

**v.**

College isn't as lonely as he imagined it to be. Fai works part-time as a tutor, makes a few friends in his course, hangs out with them, and rushes back home in time for video calls right when Yuui wakes up halfway across the world, in a pretty, sunbathed apartment in Italy.

They talk about school, about food, about classmates and neighbors and what they're having for dinner. Yuui nags at Fai to ration his sugar in between extolling the usefulness of different types of knives ("I'll show you how to use a fillet knife when I visit—" "But I don't like fish, Yuui!") and Fai recounts the speed at which sodium acetate crystallizes through a round-bottomed flask ("Please don't try to do that at home, Fai—" "But I want to make a special gift for you!").

They have fun, and time flies. Yuui's course spans three years—he works full time at a large restaurant as a line cook after he graduates (where he was only a part-timer before), and listens to Fai's complaints about his final year project when he wakes up in the mornings.

Fai doesn't think about Kurogane anymore.

His hurts have knitted together slowly over the years; he learns to trust and be happy again. Sometime in his final year, he hears about a volunteering program through one of his lab friends—teaching English to children in orphanages. It resonates with him, helping those who are bereft like Ashura helped him and Yuui, and he signs up for it.

There is something gratifying about teaching another, and watching them as they learn to walk and run. Among others, he takes under his wing two girls in the orphanage he visits—best friends—one with deep blue ribbons in her hair, and the other with scarlet earrings. Blue-girl is shy and awfully quiet, and Red-girl stays by her side with a vengeance, in case Bluey needs protection against bullies of any sort.

They grow on him like moss on wet rock, and by the end of the school year, they're able to understand a variety of English words and speak a few simple sentences. It strikes Fai suddenly that he could do this forever, imparting skills that help, and when he tells Yuui that during their next video call, his twin smiles and asks if he's considered teaching as a profession.

Ashura agrees to the additional year of schooling; Fai takes up another part time job to help cover the costs of his tuition, and he fits his orphanage visits around more classes, jobs, and video calls with Yuui. He doesn't have time for much else.

* * *

**vi.**

Another year passes. Fai graduates with his teaching license after numerous tests and a stint as an assistant teacher, and sends countless applications to schools across the country. Some schools bite; he interviews at a handful. The first to offer him a position is a private school—Horitsuba High. The director, Ichihara Yuuko, is tall, sly, and utterly too tickled by his interview.

"You can relax," she tells him on his first day, slings an arm around his shoulders and guides him around the campus. The faint scent of alcohol on her breath is unmistakable. "It's okay to crack jokes, you know!"

He is bewildered by her lackadaisical attitude at first—but when she swings by his office at the end of his first day and offers him some quality sake, he accepts, and she sets her bottom on his (rather empty) desk and drinks right from her knee-high bottle. The neckline of her dress gapes; her thighs are plainly visible through the high slit of her embroidered satin dress.

"Ichihara-san," he blurts in astonishment. Even if this is a private school, it is still very extraordinary for one's employer to be casually drinking on one's desk. After one's first day of work, no less.

"Call me Yuuko," she says drunkenly, but her smoky eyes are sharp and calculating behind her glasses, and he knows she means it. "Everyone else does."

The school director is insane—he tells Yuui as much in their video call that night.

* * *

**vii.**

It doesn't take Fai long to warm up to his colleagues and work environment. Yuuko encourages madness, partakes in it herself, and it shows in the ludicrousness of staff events (balloon smashing, dressing up as animals, and so on) organized every quarter or so.

His tentative requests to hold explosive demonstrations in the chemistry lab are resoundingly approved. Yuuko doesn't bat an eyelid when he adds large chunks of pure sodium to a beaker of water and they fizzle and catch fire and explode; neither does she hum a disapproving word when he drops gummy bears into molten potassium chlorate (the class  _ooh_ s and  _ahh_ s at the brilliant white light and plumes of smoke that billow from the mouth of the test tube).

In barely three weeks, he is comfortable in his own skin and back to his cheerful, bubbly self, and in two months, he's built a reputation for himself as the Crazy Chemistry Teacher, climbing through the laboratory windows as Yuuko is wont to do. The students love him.

Needless to say, he gets along with the director very well indeed.

* * *

**viii.**

Yet another year passes. Fai continues his visits to the orphanage, Yuui is promoted to the sous chef position in his restaurant in Italy, and the elderly gym teacher in Horitsuba High retires.

Fai expects the replacement to be someone fun, knowing his employer's strange recruiting habits, but when Yuuko calls them around in the staff room to introduce their new colleague, the chemistry journal he's dragged his eyes from nearly falls from his limp hand.

Six years after their high school graduation, and Suwa Kurogane is back to haunt him.

Kurogane hasn't sighted him yet—he's standing with his back to Fai, frame taller and shoulders broader than Fai remembers (but he just knows it's Kurogane, because hardly anyone else is that tall, has that foreboding a presence). Fai tucks his journal and hands into his deep lab coat pockets so no one can see him fidgeting, sidles up close to the math teacher to bump shoulders and ease into a friendly chat so he has someone to look at other than the one person who shakes him even now.

They're in the middle of discussing the current math syllabus when Kurogane turns and freezes at the sight of him. For a heart-stopping moment, Fai forgets how to move his mouth to form words—

_Think of Yuui, who is calm and brave!_

—And he's relaxed his face into the most professional smile when he looks up into the crimson gaze that had plagued his thoughts so long ago.

"Flowright-sensei." Yuuko introduces him smoothly. For a moment, Fai hopes to be able to pass himself off as his twin. "Our resident chemistry teacher. We call him Fai."

Recognition flickers through deep red eyes, like a demon identifying prey, and Fai feels his stomach evaporating so quickly he doesn't have time to condense and salvage it. "Hi! How do you do?" he chirps, falsely bright, and wishes that the long, lingering stare didn't scrutinize him quite so thoroughly. He feels more naked now than six years ago, somehow, more susceptible even though he knows to ward his heart against anything so frivolous as love. (There is Yuui, but Yuui is different.) "My name is Fai. Please take good care of me."

(He wants anything but, he wants to get out of here, but this is the custom and he can't break from it.)

"The pleasure is all mine," Kurogane rumbles, dark eyes tracing his face, his expression unreadable. "Please take care of me."

The words are starkly ironic and Fai feels his smile turning brittle at the corners. He clenches his fists in his pockets, certain that Kurogane bears some sort of dislike towards him from before. It feels like forever before Kurogane looks away, and at the first possible convenience, he bolts from the staff room.

Fai takes refuge in the prep room next to the chemistry lab. He's lost all appetite for breakfast, and all he wants is to curl up into Yuui's side and forget the past ever happened. (It's one in the morning in Italy and although Yuui hasn't gone to sleep yet, it's too close to class for him to start a call, and the prep room is too public besides.)

He takes deep gulps of air, reminds himself that he was probably nothing to Kurogane, that Kurogane should have ceased to think about him, and that he rarely comes into contact with gym class routines, anyway.

(What happened to forgetting about Kurogane?)

He throws himself wholeheartedly into teaching, pays special attention to the explosive experiments, and hides in the little orchard behind the science labs to eat his lunch.

Fai makes sure to climb into class through the windows.

* * *

**ix.**

That night, Yuui is all frowns. "I should come visit," he blurts suddenly, voice a little tinny through Fai's headphones. The sun is bright on his face and his cheeks are rosy, and Fai wishes he could reach through the computer screen for his twin. "I know this is hard for you, Fai—"

"I'll be fine," he reassures Yuui, even though he doesn't think so. Essays and worksheets are beginning to pile on either side of him. "You're working your dream job and they can't spare you for too long, you know."

His brother argues back, golden hair wet from his shower, a perfect reflection of his own. "I don't trust him, you remember what he did—"

"I'll avoid him," he says uncomfortably, even as he remembers the tightness in his chest when Kurogane looked at him the only time this morning. Anxiety knots his stomach. "It isn't that difficult to."

"But you can't hide forever, Fai, there's a staff event coming up," Yuui retorts. "I'm coming to visit you."

"You don't have to," Fai protests. His cupcake lies forgotten on his desk. "I can take care of myself, Yuui."

They argue more, and in the end, Yuui concedes. "Fine," he says, "but you have to tell me everything, and if he does anything to hurt you, I'm coming over immediately."

"I'm older than you, you know." He pouts childishly. That argument has never worked in the past, and he doesn't expect it to work now.

"And I'm the more responsible of us," his better half replies from halfway across the world, precious and beautiful and so very much adored.

* * *

**x.**

Is it possible to forget your first love?

* * *

**V.**

Rubber soles squeak on the smooth, tan floor of the school hall, high-pitched noises that carry above the constant shift of bodies back and forth along a series of basketball courts.

Fai grins in delight. He's cornered his prey and is fluttering about in front of him, looking up into red eyes and waving his arms in an attempt to block a shot.

"What will you do now, Kuro-rin?" he crows, taking pleasure in their proximity. Nothing has changed between them—he is still pining after this boy, and Kurogane is still with Doumeki. He thinks he might be willing to settle for second-best.

Kurogane dribbles the large, striped ball, studies him calmly. Fai makes no move to steal the ball away.

"If you want something so badly," the taller boy says, gaze flickering towards the students circling closer around them, "then grow a spine and reach for it with your own hands."

Fai doesn't think much about it at first; he grins and leaps to counter Kurogane's jump, but the ball sails over his fingertips and into the hoop, and Kurogane's team cheers.

Later on, as he reflects on it, Fai thinks the other's words may be a cue for him to try harder. He thinks that maybe, just maybe, he stands a chance.

* * *

**IV.**

He falls deep and hard, and he doesn't know it until he catches sight of two dark heads one day, walking down the sunlit corridor outside the biology labs. The songbirds are twittering loud and clear, and for a moment, Fai thinks to call out to Kurogane with one of his embarrassing nicknames that the latter so dislikes.

The words are on the tip of his tongue when Kurogane reaches over and bumps the back of his hand against the other boy's. The other—Doumeki Shizuka, from the next class—reaches back. For a moment, their fingers tangle, and Fai stares in unadulterated shock.

He looks to Yuui helplessly; there is a hint of sorrow and resignation in his brother's eyes.

"You knew?" he breathes, and it feels like there's something squeezing tight around his chest. That hadn't been a trick of the light if he wasn't the only one who'd seen it.

Yuui looks away, the corners of his mouth turned down. "Let's go, Fai," he answers quietly, taking Fai's hand and giving him a light squeeze. "I hoped you didn't have to see that."

They head for Yuui's piano club gathering, Fai trailing behind his twin in a muddle of shock and hurt. Yuui wants to protect him—he knows that instinctively, and doesn't blame Yuui for it. But Kurogane is taken. Kurogane is in a relationship and not available—he likes someone else, and somehow, that thought hurts a lot more than it should.

* * *

**III.**

For all that Fai is flamboyant, he hides a lot.

Everyone knows the attraction he harbors towards Kurogane by now; he teases and showers the boy with nicknames, a different one each day, and half his heart he wears on his sleeve. The other half, he doesn't share, like the way he ducks his head when Kurogane breezes by the picnic bench he occupies with Yuui during their free period, the way he chooses to keep his mouth shut when he spots the taller boy decked in his keigoki and hakama in the kendo club room, moving through kata with his bamboo sword.

Once, he's hurrying down the sweeping concrete staircase that leads to the round orange tables before the canteen proper (there are stairs everywhere; the school is built on a hill), when he misses a step and slips.

Yuui has promised to play for him on the piano by the tables and he's late meeting with his twin because the chemistry teacher held him back to discuss some special project, but all that goes out of his mind when he's flailing and trying to regain his balance, and failing miserably.

His breath rushes out of him when his tailbone connects joltingly hard with the edge of the stairs, and he's trying to curl his (too-long) limbs into himself in the time he skids bumpily down the rest of the unforgiving steps, pain blossoming through his body.

When he reaches the base of the steps in a heap of bruised-but-intact bones, he blinks dazedly through the aching, wondering if anyone saw, whether Yuui saw—

"Are you hurt?"

Fai looks up, and Kurogane is striding towards him in full kendo regalia. Shame washes through him (he's never wanted to show this boy his ugly side, only his very best, because ugliness makes people back away) and he covers it up in a hurry, giving his classmate a mega-watt grin.

"My tailbone hurts, Kuro-pii," he sings, tries to wave weakly at the other. "Will you rub it for me?"

Kurogane snorts; his eyes are slivers of red, and he extends a hand towards Fai.

Fai doesn't know what to think as he stares at the hand, until Kurogane growls, "Are you going to get up, or not?"

He places his hand tentatively in the larger one proffered (it's the first time they touch like that and Kurogane's palm is warm and calloused), and he's heaved up onto his feet in a swift motion, like breaking through the surface of a pool into sweet air.

"Watch where you're going," Kurogane says gruffly. "Exams are coming up and you can't afford a broken arm."

It's not often that someone other than Yuui and Ashura shows him concern like that, even in the face of him making a fool of himself. Everyone else wants something in return for care—affection, popularity, and so on. Kurogane sweeps a critical glance over him, then turns and walks away.

Fai stands alone at the foot of the stairs, watching the other boy's diminishing silhouette, and the last few moments play in a never-ending loop in his mind.

* * *

**II.**

They're on their way home from school, crossing the road, and in the distance, Fai sees his new classmate toeing a wandering kitten away from the busy street.

The kitten begins to rub itself against Kurogane's leg; the boy freezes for a bit, then crouches and picks it up by the scruff of its neck.

"Yuui," he whispers, nudges his twin, and nods towards the boy. "Look."

They reach the concrete pavement on the other side, watch in silence as Kurogane sets the animal close to a clump of bushes and walks away. The kitten follows; Kurogane talks at it, warning it to stay away, and it pays his words no heed, picking its way daintily back towards him. The sound of Kurogane muttering irritatedly to himself reaches their ears; he tries to nudge the cat back to the bushes.

"He's such a grumpy puppy," Fai tells Yuui, smiling before he is even aware of it. "I think I like him."

* * *

**I.**

The chair clatters next to him, the second-to-last student assigned to his seat based on the height differential their form teacher has sorted them into. The tallest should sit at the back of the class, after all, and Fai is no stranger to that.

"What's your name?" he pipes cheerfully to deep crimson eyes, olive skin, and jet black hair. This boy is the only one taller than he and Yuui, complexion dark for how much he seems to be a native of this country; a stark contrast to his own pale Scandinavian skin.

His new seat-neighbor flicks a casual, steady look at him, and Fai gets the distinct feeling that those eyes see deeper than he means for them to.

"Suwa Kurogane," comes the deep rumble.

Something skips a beat in his chest; he rolls the name on his tongue, says it in his mind. "It's too long," he tells the boy, "What if I called you Kuro-rin?"

His new neighbor narrows his eyes. "My name is Kurogane."

"Fai," Yuui hisses warningly from his other side. (Yuui is right. He doesn't do this often.)

"Kuro-tan? Kuro-pon?" Fai suggests, and ducks a violent swipe aimed at his head. "Kuro-mi?"

"No fighting in class!" the teacher calls from the front, and Kurogane snatches his hand back, glowers at him. Fai remains smiling.

He's got a cute guy sitting right by him, and he can't see why it isn't the start of a wonderful school year.

* * *

**xi.**

Fai lies awake in bed a week after Kurogane's reappearance, staring at the whitewashed ceiling deep in shadow. The memories are back, hazy around the edges; they resurface when he doesn't need them to, haunting him long after the fact. It's minutes to Monday and he can't sleep.

_Look, Flowright, you aren't my type. It's as simple as that._

Time has whittled down the sharp edges of those painful moments, though there are certain things that never quite stop hurting, not with the sort of separation they had. He's never really fallen out of love with Kurogane, just... buried those feelings. Burned them off in a white-orange blaze like a gummy bear in potassium chlorate. It was the only way he knew to stop the hurting, after all.

He wonders if Kurogane is still with Doumeki, whether they broke up or whether Doumeki will come to see him on the school compounds like Yuui does when he visits from Italy. He wonders if Kurogane has changed much, and what the other has been up to all these years. He wonders if Kurogane is living next door, down the corridor, or on the floors below (he hasn't allowed himself to linger long enough to find out).

Fai drags his forearm over his eyes; he needs to stop thinking.

Spring is moving across the land in the form of warmer temperatures and awakening crickets, whose chirping carries loudly on the breeze edging in through his window. He thinks about Yuui, who is just a little higher in latitude half the world away, and who is experiencing the change in season at the same time he is. (It's nice knowing that some things stay constant.)

Sleep doesn't come easily to him tonight; he rolls back onto his stomach and pulls the sheets over his head, and those red eyes are back, piercing through the darkness. (He wonders if Kurogane has settled in already, whether he likes Yuuko, if his students quail at his sheer grumpiness.)

Fifteen minutes later, Fai is pulling his boots and jacket on, and slipping out of his apartment to go for a walk. It beats stewing in memories and questions and what-ifs. He wants some fresh air.

It turns out that Kurogane's apartment is smack dab in the middle of the hallway, because the door opens, and  _he_  steps out in a set of old flannel pants, paired with a T-shirt emblazoned with fading mobile suits from one of the Gundam series that was so popular a few years back.

Fai's first instinct is to do an about-turn and march the other way, because there isn't just one stairwell—it's just that the one he's headed towards opens closer to the little park near the teachers' dorms. But Kurogane has spotted him, and it's plain rude to ignore a fellow colleague when it's clear that you've been walking towards them. His gut clenches and he focuses on setting one foot in front of another, bright smile at the ready.

Then he glimpses the possible evidence of Kurogane's interest in anime and the trepidation turns to an almost-snicker, a near-hysterical release of stress.

Fai beams extra-bright and waves. "Nice night out, isn't it?"

He doesn't know how to address Kurogane. The nicknames still hit a little too close to home, and it's a little too late to try and act like Yuui. Maybe.

Kurogane flicks a cursory gaze over him, turns around to shut his apartment door. There's a bag of what looks to be trash dangling from his other hand.

Fai decides that the best way to put distance between them is to be polite like Yuui (who is right about things a lot of the time), so when the gym teacher says nothing more, he brushes past the man with a casual "I'll be seeing you around, Kurogane-sensei!"

Red eyes sharpen, bore into his back, and Fai flees down the corridor.

He doesn't stop until he's reached the swings behind a copse of trees, heart thudding furiously in his chest like he's done something incredibly wrong and he's about to be found out and be punished for it. (Like when he'd drunk himself silly and texted Ashura in the middle of the night. Like when he'd confided in a classmate about cheating, and the classmate had gone running to a teacher, who had gone to Ashura. Ashura had not been happy both times.)

(Fai has learned that ugly things aren't meant to be shared. Hurt comes out of letting others see your bad side.)

(Yuui is different. Yuui sees all of Fai and doesn't judge him for it.)

When he's certain that Kurogane has been left far behind at the apartment block, and that he's alone at the playground with sodium lamps glowing comforting orange around him, Fai slows his pace, trudging across sand to squeeze himself onto a swing. He's too old for this, but he's slim enough that there's still an excess of reinforced rubber curving around his butt, even if it's a bit of a tight fit.

The chains squeak noisily when he begins to swing, low at first, then higher, kicking his legs so it feels like he's flying, higher and higher until there's only the maroon-tinged sky above him, edged with ink-black tree canopies, and street lamps that promise warmth and safety. The constellations he spots are the same as they always are this time of year, the same as what Yuui sees from the light-polluted Italian city he lives in now.

It takes a while to get there, but when he's whizzing through the air with the wind in his hair and his hands tight around skin-warmed chains, Fai takes comfort in thoughts of Yuui, that someone out there still loves him, even if Kurogane never has and never will.

* * *

**α.**

(It is very unsettling to hear "Kurogane" in that voice. "Kurogane" is colder and more artificial than the silent treatment years back, but he'll be damned before he admits to preferring "Kuro-rin" over his real name.)

_._

_(orange)_  
_it is the tabby kitten you plucked away_  
_it is the basketball we held from you_  
_it is the comfort of sodium lamps beneath purple-silk sky as_  
_canis major growls threats at gemini_  
_all three locked in the infinity of the winter hexagon_


	2. Dealing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This chapter is rated M for sexual themes.**

**ternary**  [ **tur** - _nuh_ -ree]  
_adjective_  
_1\. (Chemistry) consisting of three different elements or groups._  
 _2\. (Mathematics) having three variables._  
 _3\. (Metallurgy) (of an alloy) having three principal constituents._

* * *

**xii.**

It's Monday, exactly a week after the new addition to the teaching department. Fai slips into his office with a hum. He's managed to get from the apartment building to his workplace without bumping into Kurogane at all—small mercy, really—and he's looking forward to spending the whole day in relative peace. No red eyes, just a bunch of chirpy students and a smattering of friendly colleagues.

(With any luck, Syaoran and Sakura will pair up for the lab experiment today, and he'll get to watch them blush at each other while they complete a permanganate titration. Permanganate titrations are good for staring at one another, provided you look at each other to decide if the purple in the solution has completely disappeared.)

(Today is going to be  _fun_.)

He sets his graded assignments down, smiles at the silver-framed photo of Yuui on his desk, turns his computer on, and wanders back to the door, easing it open by a crack to check if the coast is clear.

It isn't—Kurogane has just stepped out of his office and is currently stomping around in the teachers' lounge.

Fai tries not to groan in disappointment. First last night, and now this morning? Did he lose his streak of good luck sometime over the past week? He's never seen the other man on any other coffee run, and Kurogane doesn't look to be moving out of his way anytime soon.

He counts to thirty, then quietly shuts the door and slips out through the window instead.

For all that the staff grumble about the director's tendency towards climbing through windows, Fai is very glad that the pantry window is unlocked. He slides the glass pane up, tucks his head past that, and heaves himself onto the window sill, twisting around to ease his long legs through the too-narrow opening.

"The hell?"

Fai startles at that voice, closes his eyes, and prays for strength. When he opens them again, he's grinning, hopping neatly onto the tiled floor of the staff pantry, and skipping to where the mugs are. "Good morning, Kurogane-sensei!"

Red eyes narrow in the pantry doorway (no running, not now). He grabs his mug (the one with a big black cat scribbled on) from the collection of staff mugs and holds it under the thermos, jamming his fingers into the flat, wide button so hot water gushes into his cup. The mug fills painfully slowly; he keeps his head bowed as a chair clatters behind him, squeaks under Kurogane's weight.

"Listen—"

"I bet you had a great weekend," Fai rambles over the other's attempt at conversation before he can think too much about it. (He doesn't want to listen.) He's not looking at the little store-bought plastic container of onigiri on the table, nor the dark-skinned hands curled around it, instead flinging a cabinet door open for his jar of instant coffee. (There's coffee brewing at the side of the counter, and its aroma hangs thick in the pantry, but Fai doesn't like it; he's been spoiled rotten by Yuui's taste in caffeine.) One teaspoonful of coffee granules sinks into hot water; he replaces the bottle and spins on his heels, tearing the fridge door open for his jar of condensed milk.

"Flowright—"

"You should take a walk around the campus when you have the chance, you know," he continues, setting his glass jar hard on the polished wood counter. He transfers four huge spoonfuls of condensed milk into his cup, one more than his usual, because he's not dealing with Kurogane right now and he needs something to distract him—something insanely sweet. "I'm sure Yuuko-sensei has told you: Horitsuba High is just part of a larger conglomerate of schools, and they have all sorts of entertainment facilities here, like the movies and a bowling alley—"

"You're going to fucking have diabetes."

He doesn't need to look to know that the gym teacher is watching him, but he jerks his head in the other's direction anyway, sees those intense eyes glued on him, and in a moment of sheer spite, tips his jar over and scrapes another tablespoon of condensed milk into his coffee. Kurogane snorts derisively; Fai dunks his spoon into his mug, wipes the drips off the glass jar with his fingers, and pops them into his mouth so none of that sugary goodness is wasted, Kurogane or no.

Kurogane mutters under his breath, something that sounds suspiciously like, "Still an idiot."

The other is right—he's the world's greatest idiot for remaining in the pantry for so long, and he wishes he had his lab coat with him, to hide what his pants and long-sleeved turtleneck don't. Yuui would be able to detect the little trembles of stress in his limbs; he doesn't know if Kurogane knows, doesn't wait to find out.

"Well, I'll be seeing you around," he lilts brightly, grins, and doesn't meet the other man's eyes. "Lots of classes today and all that, you understand."

Silence chases him out of the pantry; he exits by the door this time and beats a hasty retreat to his office, only relaxing when his door is shut tight behind him and he's sunken bonelessly in his chair, clutching Yuui's photo to his chest.

"I don't think I'm dealing, Yuui," he mumbles to the photo frame. His computer is on and the green-blue login screen is waiting on him. He signs in, stares morosely at the desktop wallpaper—a photo of him and his brother (always so beautiful) on bone-white sand edging a glittering turquoise sea, squinting and grinning into the sunlight. (That was two years ago, when Yuui visited and they'd gone to summery Okinawa for a short holiday together.)

Things shouldn't be this difficult. He's over Kurogane, has been over Kurogane for years, and everything should be fine if they were to just talk to each other. Say hi, catch up on six years of gossip with the person who probably still hates him (and who looks even better than he did before, oh gods), and be colleagues who have no shared history. Right?

Fai opens the instant messaging application, clicks on Yuui's name. His fingers hover above the keyboard.

He doesn't want Yuui to rush over all the way from Italy, not when this is a stupid problem that will go away on its own. Yuui has greater and better things to concentrate on, he's working his dream job, and Fai is old enough that he doesn't need pick-me-up hugs over little things like this anymore.

 _Morning, Yuuiii!_  he types, and adds several little smiling emoticons behind the greeting.  _I have lots of sugar in my coffee this morning, how are youuu?_

* * *

**xiii.**

Fai very carefully does not mention Kurogane in his video calls to Yuui.

He doesn't talk about how he drifts into the physics labs on the highest floor of the laboratory building for a better view of the school field, doesn't mention how he scans the track for a black-clad figure yelling at his students every so often. The faint  _breeep_  of the gym teacher's whistle rings out at the start and end of his lessons, especially through the open windows of the chemistry lab, and Fai thinks it's ironic that Kurogane haunts him even without trying to.

It isn't that he's infatuated with Kurogane, no.

He's just curious.

He wants to prove that there isn't anything else about the taller man left to like, because then he can convince himself that letting him go (accepting his rejection) was the right thing to do. He wants to prove that he's beyond needing someone like that even if Kurogane has been forced into his general vicinity. He wants to believe that Kurogane is currently tied up in a relationship and has no time or effort or space in his heart to deal with Fai.

It's awkward and stupid, but Fai has taken to eating his lunch at the picnic benches overlooking the school field, tucked away in the gallery of one of the classroom buildings. It's too dim there for study and students usually go there to whisper sweet nothings—they clear the area when he makes his appearance.

Fai realizes that he doesn't discover very much about Kurogane at all.

Kurogane is a strict teacher, and a very dedicated one at that. He pays attention to all the activities going on on the field, be it groups of students jogging around the track or competing in soccer matches. Occasionally, he retreats into the classroom next to the grandstand, and teaches theories about sports and society instead.

(Fai wonders if Kurogane remembers that one game of basketball six years ago.)

He does enough during the day that there's plenty to talk about without mentioning the gym teacher to Yuui at all, and if his twin asks, well, he hasn't come into contact with Kurogane-sensei. There are far better things they can discuss over their video calls.

* * *

**xiv.**

"Has Kurogane said anything to you?" Yuui asks two days later. Fai is halfway through grading his assignments, and Yuui is in the middle of yoga, with his laptop on the floor in front of his thick rubber mat, light pouring in through the large windows of his apartment.

(Fai wishes he was there with Yuui—it is such a beautiful place, though he'd live in a dingy hole in the wall with Yuui any day if that was all they had.)

He shrugs. "He hasn't said a word to me."

"That's good." Yuui rises into his next position, a garland pose with his hands pressed together in front of his chest and his feet on either side of him, thighs spread apart. His exercise pants are clinging and stretching and in that moment, Fai stares, and swallows.

(It is very possible to be attracted to both Kurogane and Yuui at the same time.)

Yuui notices the expression on his face; his lips curve in a placid smile, and he holds the pose.

Fai squirms in his seat, whines. It's been a while since they've done anything together, and he craves touch, hasn't got the right sort in a while, even if he clings to Yuuko and snuggles up with her and she obliges his need for contact. "Yuui," he whimpers, all thought of grading assignments sifting through his mind.

His twin looks straight into the webcam, right at him, and a shiver races down his spine. Fai drops his red pen, curls his fingers restlessly into his palms.

"If you need something, all you have to do is ask," Yuui murmurs slyly, blue eyes glinting, darkening.

"You're cruel," Fai whines, feels blood surge south, inexorable like the tide. The same is happening to his brother—contours tauten and curves flatten out, and he sees it all in sharp relief, in plain sight, and he wants to reach through the screen and touch, curl his fingers around Yuui's flushed skin. He knows what Yuui feels like (how similar is Kurogane?) and he  _needs_.

"Show me," Yuui whispers, breaking his pose, fingers inching towards his waistband. Fai groans when his thumb hooks fabric down and a darkened, blunt tip peeps out at him. He reaches for himself, fumbles with his own webcam so it's angled downwards, and Yuui's delighted purr fills his ears.

Tonight, it is all about them.

* * *

**xv.**

It's grocery day, so called because he's run out of coffee powder in the staff pantry, and eggs in his fridge and rice and sugar and the longest list of things that he's been putting off buying. Fai hasn't mentioned having to fold his toilet paper into smaller and smaller squares because Yuui would just rail at him in exasperation, and he knows he needs to visit the campus supermarket that's fifteen minutes' walk away. But the combined weight of items on his list just keeps getting greater and greater, and the mere thought of carrying all that back alone fills him with dread each time.

(The face he makes is what Yuui calls his pickle face.)

His shopping cart rolls noisily out of the store; Fai pushes it right to the edge of the property, where it's still polite (enough) to leave it, and slings the various shopping bags onto his shoulders and forearms. (He really should have put them all in a basket to see how heavy they'd weigh, but the convenience of a cart was too great to pass up.)

And so Fai finds himself tramping back to the staff apartments, taking large strides as quickly as possible so this will be done and over with.

He pouts at the two plastic bags he's been forced to purchase—the recyclable tote bags he's brought along aren't enough to contain his entire shopping list, and somehow, there are cans in the flimsy bag that's got thinner since the last time he visited. He glances periodically down at them, crosses roads with bated breath and heaves a sigh when he makes it without the bags ripping and spilling their contents like some sort of fate-induced harakiri.

It's a pain lugging the seven bags or so of things he's bought up to the third story of the apartment building, and he heaves a sigh of relief as he reaches the topmost stair landing—

Only to have one of the plastic bags split right down the side with a light hiss. Heavy metal cans tumble onto the concrete floor, rolling every which way down the stairs and neatly beneath the stair railing, before disappearing in a steep fall. Fai watches them go in absolute dismay.

_Plunk plunk PLUNK!_

"Oi!" someone roars, right after a can of sweet corn rolls into the crevasse that reaches all the way down to the first floor. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

That voice is very familiar and his stomach flips over on itself. For a split second, Fai is torn between making a dash across the few meters to his apartment and hiding (because there is no way Kurogane doesn't hate him now) and staying where he is to apologize. He can't abandon those cans of food (they cost money and he needs to pay Ashura the balance of his college tuition), but he can come back later and they should still be around—the staff of Horitsuba High is good and honest.

Footsteps patter lightly up the stairs; his heart is pounding and he spins on his heel for the door in a sudden decision, one hand curled around the silvery doorknob to wrench it open.

"You!"

The door is halfway ajar and Fai sees the door to his apartment, scant steps away—

A large hand wraps around his elbow, spins him back so he's staring into a black track suit with gold stripes running down its length. It requires a bit of an effort for him to gulp and dare to look up, and another second before he remembers to pull that inane grin back onto his face. "Fancy seeing you here, Kurogane-sensei!"

"Were you trying to pull a prank on me?" Kurogane mutters between gritted teeth, crimson eyes fierce and glaring, even as he sweeps his gaze down to Fai's assortment of bags.

(He shivers.)

There is hardly any space between them; even their breathing is loud in this enclosed stairwell, fluorescent light shining cold above them. Fai scrabbles for a witty excuse and comes up empty. Kurogane plants a large hand on the door, forces it noisily shut.

"That was an accident," the taller man surmises. Shocked, Fai gapes at him, swallows mutely. He blinks and blinks again, and it's as if Kurogane thinks nothing of his trepidation when he next speaks. "I've been trying to get ahold of you, and you keep slipping away."

"What?" Fai doesn't believe his ears, darts his gaze around to seek an escape.

"Relax," Kurogane mutters, releases his elbow. He keeps his other hand on the door. "I'm not going to hurt you, for heaven's sake."

Only then does Fai look back at him, utterly confused. "What?" he repeats, feeling every bit an idiot. "What do you want?"

The other man glances away, as if embarrassed. "About the past. I— I realize I should've apologized."

Fai wonders if he's dreaming, though the bags weighing down on his sore arms tell him he isn't. "You— You don't mean..."

"Yeah, that. I shouldn't have cut you off like that." Kurogane meets his eyes uncomfortably for a brief moment, then looks away again. "But you were a damn pain in the ass back then."

He forces out a huff of laughter. Kurogane is apologizing? To him? Silence drags out between them, and Fai fidgets. He's looking down at his feet when he mumbles, "You hate me, don't you?"

Another beat of silence.

"No."

He isn't really dealing with all this—there's too much information, Kurogane doesn't hate him, and he doesn't know what to say. Instead, Fai blabbers, trying to get Kurogane away so he can think again. "Well, you shouldn't be doing this, you know. Doumeki-san isn't going to be happy about you cornering some other guy like that, is he?"

He regrets it immediately.

Red eyes narrow; Kurogane draws away, and he can see the other man weighing his words. Fai grimaces, prepares for the worst.

"Stop looking like I'm going to hit you, damn it!" the gym teacher growls, eyebrows drawing together. "I'm not that sort of person."

 _You've certainly done things that hurt,_  is what Fai thinks but doesn't say.

"Look, I've talked with him. He said I should apologize," Kurogane mutters, and Fai gapes at him all the more. "And you don't need to know crap about my personal life but... I'm not seeing him anymore."

Fai stares. "So you're seeing someone else, then."

The other man doesn't affirm or deny it. "Look, just go back to wherever you're heading. I've said all I needed to."

He steps away, leaving the way out unobstructed, and Fai suddenly (again) remembers the weight of all his groceries on his shoulder. "Right," he mumbles, grabbing the doorknob, "I'm going. Goodnight, Kurogane-sensei."

Kurogane mutters something beneath his breath, but Fai is too busy putting as much distance between them as he can to hear it, shoving his card key into his door and all but stumbling in.

He spends the next fifteen minutes putting his things away meticulously like how he never does, clears out his fridge, compiles the trash eligible for the next collection day and even tidies his laundry in an attempt to not think about the conversation in the stairwell.

When he opens the door again to take the trash out and hopefully collect his lost cans, Fai finds them all stacked neatly on the tiled floor in front of him, some dented more than others, but undeniably from the bag of groceries that he lost. His heart thumps. He's never known Kurogane to do anything of this sort for him, and he wavers.

The evening air is chilly out. He doesn't pay attention to his surroundings when he makes his way to the large waste bins where bags of trash are collected.

Kurogane apologized to him. Kurogane doesn't hate him. Kurogane isn't with Doumeki.

Kurogane picked his things up and returned them to him.

There's a bittersweet warmth in his chest—he's over this guy, really he is—but he can't help wondering about his new colleague, his ex-classmate. What Kurogane is like when he's alone, what Kurogane is like when he cares for someone, how Kurogane acts when he's in love.

It's a slippery slope he's tumbled down before. Fai recognizes all the signs, yet it feels like he's approaching the edge all over again, pulled inevitably forward. He hopes there's an end to this somewhere.

* * *

**xvi.**

"I've been thinking about teaching," Yuui says during the video call the next day. "You've told me so much about your students, and it sounds so exciting."

Fai stares at the image of his twin in shock. "What?" he blurts. The prospect of Yuui giving up his position in the restaurant kitchen is ludicrous, when he's gone all the way to Italy, studied three years and worked most of that time to help pay for it. "But you've always wanted to be a cook!"

"You've mentioned a cooking class in Horitsuba High, haven't you?" Yuui counters, his eyes gleaming. "We could be together if I joined the school as a cooking instructor!"

It sounds like both a brilliant and horrific idea at once: Yuui living with him, Yuui becoming colleagues with Kurogane.

"But Kurogane is working here," Fai protests. He hasn't mentioned the incident in the stairwell yesterday, doesn't know how to bring it up.

"We could work elsewhere together."

"I like Horitsuba High," he says with a pout. "Yuuko-sensei is nice to me, and I have lots of fun here."

He really doesn't want to leave. Especially not when Kurogane doesn't hate him. Maybe the three of them could be amicable colleagues?

"I won't mind working there if that's what you want, Fai," Yuui answers. "Besides, I'll have to take up some teaching courses. It could be a while yet before I'm able to move back."

He doesn't want his brother arguing with Kurogane. The gym teacher isn't as bad as they thought he was. Kurogane is... possibly a good person. Fai pulls a fake smile across his face, one he hasn't had to do in front of Yuui in a long time. "Then I'll look forward to it, Yuui. But don't rush through things, okay?"

"I won't." Yuui smiles warmly at him, and guilt worms its ugly way into Fai's stomach. "I can't wait to be there with you again."

"Me too," he says brightly. Fai inhales, counts to five, and continues, "I don't think Kurogane is that bad a person, you know."

The expression on his twin's face shifts instantaneously; a wrinkle furrows on Yuui's forehead, his lips pull into a thin line. "Why do you say that?"

He winces. "I dropped my canned food after shopping yesterday and he picked them up for me."

There's a long pause, and he can see the cogs in his brother's head turning. "You don't know what he means by that," Yuui says darkly. "You'd best stay away from him, Fai."

"I will."

Deep down, Fai isn't so sure if he can.

* * *

**xvii.**

Beneath the water's surface is a world of blue silence, punctuated by gurgling bubbles and the occasional whistle that makes it through. Fai sets his sights on the far end of the pool, kicks off from smooth tile. There aren't many others in the heated Olympic-length pool in the evenings—physical ed. classes are long over, and the swim team is doing its post-workout stretches on dry tile off to the side.

It's peaceful, and Fai spends half an hour here most evenings before he returns to his apartment. Swimming gives him time to relax, clearing his mind of all the clutter that builds up during the day. All he needs to concentrate on is the push and pull of his strokes, and challenge himself to stay underwater for as long as he can. One swims faster when there's no need to break the surface, after all.

He glides down close to the floor of the pool, almost within reach of white tile tinted blue, water pressing around him on all sides, and finally lets his body pull him back to the surface just as he completes the lap. Sound floods his ears; he gasps a lungful of air, pulls his goggles up so he isn't seeing the world through a pair of oval blinders.

And there in the distance, as if fate has damned him to some sort of hell, he sees Kurogane striding towards the pool, wrapped in nothing but goggles, a wristband with his locker key, and a pair of swimming briefs that really do not hide very much at all. Water runs in rivulets down his chest and limbs, accentuates the contours of his pectorals and abs, among everything else.

Fai stares. He isn't really able to take his eyes off the man, not when the bright lights around the pool illuminate him to magnificent, slick detail. It seems as if Kurogane hasn't noticed him yet, huddled close beneath his starting block at the very furthest lane of the pool, wispy hair plastered all over his face.

It's a good thing, too, because his blood has decided to accumulate where he doesn't need it to, and Fai is glad that no one's paying attention to him at all.

"Such a remarkable specimen, isn't he?" someone says in a low, feminine purr behind him, and he whips around in shock.

_(Oh, not right now.)_

"Yuuko-sensei!" he gasps, jaw hanging as he gawps at the director who's sitting right at the edge of the pool, in a too-revealing swimsuit with large orange butterflies printed across her midriff. He doesn't really care how it looks as though her breasts are almost spilling out—what concerns Fai is that he hadn't noticed her approach at all. "I didn't see you! How long have you been here?"

"Not too long," she answers in that sultry way of hers, smiling down at him as if she knows all the secrets in the world. She sips from the little sake bottle in her hand, and he's in shock.

"You should bring some booze to share," he tells her reproachfully, vaguely horrified that he's half-hard and that she'll notice that if she looks closely enough. He inches forward to conceal his front with the tiled pool wall. Then it strikes him that she hasn't really taken a dip—she's dry everywhere other than her calves, which are kicking playfully in the water. This doesn't concern him though, so he pouts, setting his chin on top of folded arms. "You know I like sake."

"Sure I do," she says slyly, and looks up in the next moment. "Oh, look who's here to join us!"

(This really isn't happening, is it?)

Fai freezes momentarily, then fixes the smile on his face and looks around, following long, tanned legs to a pair of briefs, and up beautiful abs and chest and throat to meet red eyes fixed on him. More blood pools in his groin.

"Why the hell aren't you stopping her from drinking?" Kurogane demands, jabbing a finger in Yuuko's direction. "No glass anywhere near the pools!"

"I'm your boss, Kurogane-sensei," Yuuko drawls, waves her sake bottle in his direction. "I decide what I want to bring with me."

"Dressing like that and drinking in front of the kids," the gym teacher seethes. He has the decency to keep his voice low so the few remaining students don't hear, Fai notes.

"It doesn't matter to you, does it?" Yuuko retorts, teeth flashing in a catlike smile. She waves Kurogane off. "Go on, swim at the other end of the pool. Fai-sensei and I have things to talk about."

Fai glances back at her in surprise. "Me?"

"Who else?" The director grins at him, and Kurogane bristles. "Plenty to see here later, Kurogane-sensei."

Heat surges into his face and Fai doesn't know if he's more embarrassed on his own account, or his employer's. "Yuuko-sensei!" he yelps, making sure to not look at the gym teacher (but he's certain the tips of his ears are pink). "You really shouldn't encourage him like that! He'll just get worse, you know!"

"Oh?" Yuuko's smile turns very, very sly. "Is that true, Kurogane-sensei?"

Fai can feel red eyes burning holes through his back.

"I'm not dealing with either of you," Kurogane snarls, and Fai thinks he hears something like betrayal in his tone. (His stomach tightens into a hard lump.) He turns to find the taller man stalking away, muscles rippling as he mounts a starting block on the other end of the pool and dives into the water in a sleek, graceful arch.

"Hyuu," he can't help but say.

"Indeed," Yuuko concurs. "Back to serious matters, though. How are you getting along with him?"

Fai blinks dumbly at her. "What?"

"I noticed from your applications that both of you attended the same school together. When I first introduced him to you, you didn't look too happy to see him." Yuuko watches him from the corner of her eye, and Fai feels his shoulders sag.

"I didn't think you saw," he admits quietly.

"Your answer? I ask this because we're a close-knit school, Fai. Conflicts will adversely affect staff productivity, as I'm sure you know."

"I am aware of it," he says, bowing his head in disgrace. "We're... getting along fine. Better than before, definitely."

"Good to know." Yuuko tips the last of her sake down her throat. "I doubt it'll come down to this... but if things develop unfavorably, I shall lock the two of you up in a room until you figure out your issues. Friendship, romance, sexual tension, you name it."

He gapes at her.

(Is she spouting absolute nonsense, or has she seen ahead?)

"I understand, Yuuko-sensei," he says politely, with none of the silliness that both of them are wont to engage in. "Thank you for letting me know."

She smiles, one of those knowing, mysterious smiles that tells him nothing, and pulls her legs from the pool. "Well, I should be retiring for the night," she sighs, dangles her empty bottle from her fingertips. "I'm out of liquor, as you can see."

"You need to bring some along for me next time," he answers, a smile creeping up his lips. Yuuko, like the other staff members, is someone he's begun to see as part of his family in this school. "And some for growly Kuroi-sensei too. Then maybe he won't bark so much."

With a cackle and dark mischief glittering in her eyes, Yuuko leaves.

* * *

**xviii.**

Water-slick limbs and a sculpted back play on repeat in his mind that night, and Fai groans, pulls his pillow over his head. It doesn't ease the fullness at his groin, which only tautens when his thoughts shift towards a very fitted pair of swimming briefs, what's inside them, and how that would feel in his hands. All that, while red eyes watch him.

His pulse throbs between his legs; he pushes his hips into his mattress, and faint pleasure feathers into his body, tempting him towards more. His breathing stutters.

He hasn't grown this aroused by anyone other than Yuui in a long while, and it feels like betrayal in the way his fingers itch to stroke, in the way his mind weaves images that grow all the more explicit with every moment he refuses to give in.

He's seeing Kurogane's face between his thighs, Kurogane taking him into his mouth—

_Oh, gods._

He's whimpering and biting hard on his lip, wishing for slick wet heat and then some.

His sleeping pants are slippery and his heart is rapping hard on his ribs and Kurogane is two doors down, maybe showering, maybe stroking.

Fai groans again and reaches down, and it isn't part of his imagination when he comes especially hard this time.

* * *

**xix.**

There's a certain comfort in hiding—Fai acknowledges that much. He begins to address Kurogane by the silly nicknames he once used in high school: Kurorin-sensei when they pass each other in corridors and Kuropon-sensei when they're in the staff lounge, and Kurosama-sensei on the off-chance that he bumps into the gym teacher at the pool  _(hyuu)_.

And it works.

The first time it happens, Kurogane's eyes widen in surprise. The second, when Fai hangs around more to observe his colleague's reactions, Kurogane's stare has become irate, calculating. The third, he decides to dig it in a little, and "Puppy-sensei" becomes Yuuko's personal favorite, much to the man's consternation. He chases Fai around the staff lounge twice in an attempt to land a hit. Fai runs at first just to prolong the game, and then it becomes a desperate attempt to save his skin because Kurogane's in danger of catching up with those toned legs of his.

(Yuuko declares that Kurogane's punishment will be a week of waiting on her. When the man swears and objects and loudly protests that she didn't rule any on Fai, she smirks and points out that Fai amuses her plenty, and that is all she needs. Fai thinks being on the receiving end of Kurogane's glower is a good thing.)

(It is, because the whole point of this is to distance Kurogane from himself.)

After a while, Kurogane's disgruntlement settles into muttered grumbling and sour looks whenever Fai has the chance to unleash his nicknames, and he's relieved that that's all that'll come out of it, because no one will suspect (least of all, Kurogane) that the very person making fun of you is also the one humping his bed to (increasingly lewder) thoughts of you at night.

* * *

**β.**

(For all that he's thought about being addressed again by stupid nicknames, "Kuropon-sensei" still has a ring of falsity to it, like veneer on flawed wood. Kurogane is curious—he wonders what happened to the other twin, he wonders if Fai hasn't really accepted his apology after all, and he wonders what else the idiot blond is hiding.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are enjoying this fic as much as I did writing it. :) Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment! This fic is turning out more well-received than I expected it to be :o


	3. Coaxing Iron to Bend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fic rating has been raised to Mature.

**xx.**

For a while, things go well. Over a bowl of microwaved canned soup one night, Fai informs Yuui smugly that he's started to give Kurogane annoying nicknames.

"What?" Yuui protests, dropping from his yoga pose, "you said you weren't talking to him, Fai!"

"But it's fun! He still doesn't like me, Yuui. Are you jealous?"

"No! But you don't need him to notice you, either way."

"I'm making him hate me."

And this thought hurts, somehow.

Fai holds on tighter to his soup, clinging to its warmth as if it would really help. Before Yuui replies, he says in a small voice, "I wish you were here. I haven't got anyone to snuggle with other than Yuuko-sensei, and she's not the same."

It's been six years and he's used to the fiddly headset and wires and webcam and looking at his twin from afar. Still, he wishes Yuui were closer. Yuui knows where to touch him, and sleeping in bed feels best when he's huddled up against his brother's warmth. He remembers soft lips and morning breath and silky blond hair and summer sky eyes, and his chest aches; his arms are empty.

"I miss you too," Yuui answers, deflating in the little rectangle of his screen. He chews on his lip for a bit, the way Fai does sometimes. "I know it's been a while since we talked about it... But what if you dated someone? Someone who can give you warmth in person?"

He knows it hurts Yuui to suggest this. For as long as they've been alive, Yuui has loved only him that way, and Yuui has said on multiple occasions that he likes it best in Fai's arms. But where he has been quick to reject this option before, vehemently, Fai is now torn, because he has been imagining leeching heat from strong brown arms and it sends guilt swamping through him.

Yuui notices. A wrinkle appears on his forehead, and Fai watches on in dismayed silence when he sees that his twin has read him. And the dismay that's mirrored in Yuui's face, because Yuui hadn't expected him to be interested in anyone.

They both try to hide it, and Fai realizes that it's incredibly stupid to try and pretend in front of the person who's grown up knowing him like the back of his own hand.

"I still love you, Yuui," he says earnestly. "I still want to do everything with you."

Yuui's struggling with his thoughts, Fai can tell. He fidgets remorsefully in his seat, sips from his lukewarm chicken soup.

"Really?" His brother (ever so beloved) looks up at him through the computer screen. "Is it really—" He pauses to swallow. "Is it really possible to be interested in two people at the same time?"

Fai nods. This, he knows for certain. "I don't want to choose, Yuui. Don't make me. But you'll always be the most important."

Yuui holds his silence for some moments longer, and finally nods as well. "Okay. I believe you."

Fai has a moment to be relieved, and then Yuui's talking again. "Who is it?"

He hesitates, and his twin knows just by looking at his face; his brow creases with exasperation.

"Fai, no." Yuui's covering his face and grinding the heels of his palms into his eyes. "Please tell me it isn't Kurogane."

He can't lie, not this time, so he remains silent.

"Fai," Yuui moans, and Fai can hear Yuui's heart preemptively breaking in his stead, "what am I going to do with you? He's going to hurt you again, I just know it."

"I'm not making any moves on him," he points out, pouting. There isn't any point in hiding this from Yuui anymore, only in reassuring him that the worst will not happen. "I'm not going to touch him this time, I swear, Yuui. I'm keeping my distance."

Yuui lifts his hands away from his face to stare at him, a mix of adoration and helplessness in his eyes. "Promise?"

"I'll try my best." He doesn't want to break any promises where it comes to Yuui.

His brother sighs gustily, shakes his head. "Whatever the case may be, you know I'm a phone call away, right? Give me the word and I'll fly over immediately."

"I know. I love you, Yuui." Fai stares hard at the screen, leaning in so he can be just a little closer to his other half. "You aren't jealous, are you?"

Yuui chuckles weakly, but there isn't any amusement in his eyes. "I've had to share you before, you remember. I won't always agree with you, but I want you to be happy." And with a bit of resentment, "I wish you'd choose someone who'd at least care for you in return."

Fai gives an uneasy shrug. "I'm not telling him anything. He won't know. Don't worry, Yuui, I won't let him hurt me, either."

Or so he wants to believe.

"Who knows? Maybe I'll lose interest in him," he suggests, and attempts to smile. "Don't you think?"

"Things are different now," Yuui answers thoughtfully—Fai remembers the stacked, dented cans from before.

It isn't his imagination that Yuui still looks sad; he feels the sudden need to make that right, and there aren't many ways he knows how, not when Yuui is so far away. He makes a list in his mind, things to send Yuui like extra emails and hearts and even a little present in the mail (things to distract both of them), but for now, there is something special that Yuui likes, and he's going to make damn sure that his twin feels excluded in no way at all.

Fai sets his cold soup down, pulls his chair forward, and murmurs into his headset, "Wanna see something, Yuui?"

Yuui recognizes the throaty, low purr; he pulls a quick breath, his pupils dilate a little. With a sly smile, Fai rises from his seat and wriggles out of his clothes. He's got all of Yuui's attention now, and he means to keep it that way for a while.

* * *

**xxi.**

Somehow, he forms a tenuous friendship with Kurogane. Maybe it's to do with how he slips into the gym teacher's office when Yuuko is around hounding the man, taking the bulk of the director's attention for himself, or maybe it's to do with Fai returning the favor from the other night by making some onigiri (because a good deed like collecting scattered tins can't remain a debt forever unpaid).

In any case, Kurogane appreciates the onigiri, and shouts less when Fai is busy distracting Yuuko.

"Didn't think you could cook," Kurogane says gruffly around a mouthful of rice, which had been complete with cutesy dog faces painstakingly cut out from seaweed sheets.

Fai brightens and shrugs, hovers around in the pantry. "I know a few tips."

(Yuui's always been the better at cooking, but Fai's picked up a few things from him and it isn't as if he doesn't know how to cook. He's just too lazy to.)

They descend into semi-awkward silence after that, so Fai returns to his office.

There comes a knock on his door later that day. It opens in the middle of him tucking various things into a little cardboard box for Yuui.

"Kurotan-sensei!" he exclaims cheerily. This is the first time Kurogane has ever approached him in an office setting. "Is something the matter?"

The gym teacher waves a heavy-duty stapler at him. "I'm out of staples. The supply cabinet is out too. Do you have any?"

Fai blinks at him in surprise. "Have you informed Yuuko-sensei about it?"

Kurogane just scowls. "No."

"Afraid of walking into a trap?" He grins when he stumbles upon the possibility that Yuuko could have set things up just so the taller man was forced into begging. "Hyuu, Yuuko-sensei is so cunning!"

"Shut up. Do you have staples, or not?" Kurogane takes a further step into his office, scans his desk. Fai sees his attention settle onto Yuui's care package and feels oddly defensive for some reason. "Aren't you supposed to be working?"

"Hush, this is family business," Fai informs him primly.

He's lined the bottom of the box with one of his sleeping shirts, a very private letter to his twin, and a jar of matcha powder that he knows Yuui would want more of. There are bonito flakes in there too, some chocolates to remind him of Fai, as well as little handy things like coffee filters, stickers, and an hourglass (that counts down exactly four minutes and forty-five seconds) from the dollar store. He would send booze, but customs wouldn't let that get past, and they really had no business going through his things for Yuui, anyway.

"For that brother of yours?" Kurogane frowns suspiciously but doesn't move closer.

"Yes," Fai says, and on behalf of his twin, adds, "Yuui sends his greetings!"

(Although Yuui would probably rail at him for including him in this mess at all.)

The gym teacher remains wary. "What's he doing now?"

"You care more about him than me, Kuromyu-sensei," Fai whines. It's an act, but he can't seem to quell the little bit of jealousy that springs up in his stomach, when Kurogane seems to tend towards his twin, even now.

Kurogane scoffs, looks away. "Stop that."

"He's working as a chef in Italy," he says. That Yuui has enrolled in teaching courses is absolutely none of Kurogane's business. Briefly, Fai considers asking the other man if he has anything to contribute to Yuui's parcel. (But this is from him to Yuui, all of it, and there will be no reminder of Kurogane anywhere near this package.) "Where were you teaching before you transferred to Horitsuba High?"

There's a pause before the gym teacher responds this time. "Nowhere."

"Nowhere?"

"I graduated from teaching school recently—not that it's any of your business."

"Were you pursuing a Master's?" Fai raises his eyebrows.

Red eyes snap away. "Not your business. Do you have any staples, or not?"

He's curious, now, why Kurogane has a year or two missing from his resume. Did he switch courses? Were there problems? Fai snatches his box of staples up and tosses it across the room; the gym teacher plucks it neatly out of the air.

"Thanks," Kurogane mutters, almost inaudibly, and disappears out of his office, pulling his door shut with a quiet click. It's resoundingly silent for a while.

Kurogane  _thanked_  him.

Fai stares blankly at the space the other was standing a moment ago, pulse tripping and breath catching. He doesn't trust Kurogane any more than he did, but he's ensnared and intrigued and he wants to know exactly what the other's story is.

* * *

**xxii.**

"Yuui," he wails that night, "Kurogane asked about you!"

In the span of hours, he's gone from dissatisfied to apathetic to sulky. Whatever he feels towards Kurogane, it is merely a crush, and he doesn't have to be too serious about it, Fai figures.

On his laptop screen, Yuui frowns in consternation, slowly shifting from one pose to another: legs apart, bent at his waist. "Why would he ask about me?"

It occurs to Fai then that he doesn't want to spoil the surprise of the care package (already sealed and mailed from the campus post office), so he pulls a pout and lies, "Maybe he's interested in you."

His twin sputters then, jerks his face up to study him. "What? Don't be silly, Fai."

He shrugs and exaggerates his expression. "So I told him you're a chef in Italy. You're so far away, Yuui."

Yuui's face closes off a little. "What did he say about that?"

Fai rolls his shoulders again. "Well, I started to ask where he was working before Horitsuba. He said he'd just graduated."

"Did he show any interest in you?"

"No!" He wails again.

"You said you were going to avoid him," his twin says, mildly accusing. "That's a good thing. Don't get too involved, remember."

"I'm trying not to," he mumbles, rubs a hand across his chest. "He makes me feel weird."

Yuui sighs in exasperation. "How are you planning to deal with that? You're enough of a professional to prevent it from interfering with your work."

"Maybe all I need is to sleep with him," Fai mutters sullenly. (The very thought sends a dark thrill down his spine.) "Get him out of my system, you know?"

His brother pulls a face. "Don't. The closer you get to him, the easier he'll hurt you. You know that."

"I know, Yuui, you've said that a million times—"

"Just a few hundred, don't exaggerate—"

"Four hundred times," Fai concedes. "I know. And yet." He huffs a great sigh. "You should see him at the pool, Yuui. I bet even you would get hard for him."

Yuui rolls his eyes. "I won't," he answers, tone dry.

"Well, maybe if you liked him more," Fai says. "I think when you care enough about him, you will."

"I won't. All I need is you, Fai."

A sudden thought strikes him, and he catches his breath. "If all three of us were together in bed—"

"Fai, don't—"

"Then I wouldn't have to choose, we can all take turns," he says, words trailing off on a breathy, excited whisper. " _Yuui._ "

"No!"

"Just— Just think about it. Kurogane's hot— I'll have to sneak a picture for you one of these days, but he has the finest butt—"

"I don't want to know!" Yuui protests, scrunching his face up. "If you don't stop, Fai Flowright, I'll not send you those milk candies anymore. Or the liquor ones, or the berry ones."

"Yuui," he exclaims, horrified, pulling a wounded look in the next moment. "You can't not send the milk candies!"

His twin returns with a petulant pout (they're adults,  _adults,_  and yet they're resorting to childish antics with each other). "Yes, I can. Stop trying to win me over where Kurogane's concerned."

"It's just a fantasy," he complains. "It's not like we'll actually do all that."

"Thank the heavens."

"I wish I could imagine Kurogane saying sexy things to me," Fai says after a while, leaning forward on his desk to toy with the forgotten bowl of veggies—he's picked the corn kernels out of the mix, and carrots and peas don't taste anywhere near tolerable. "Maybe you could talk to me using his voice...?"

Yuui shakes his head, moves into his next yoga pose. "You aren't going to make me do that, Fai."

"Just once, please?"

"I've forgotten what he sounds like."

" _Like that,_ " Fai growls, adjusting his voice so it sounds more like the gym teacher. It takes a while—he hasn't had practice in forever—but he gets into the rhythm of it. " _You're such an idiot. Can't imagine why I'm suffering your presence._ "

Yuui squeezes his eyes shut with a grimace. "Now I remember, and I didn't need that."

"Please, Yuui?" Fai squirms, all smiles. "Just this once?"

His twin heaves a breath. "I wasn't in drama club for a reason, Fai."

"But it's not like I stayed in drama club for long."

"You have the talent to do that kind of thing. I don't."

"That's because you aren't trying, Yuui. It's really easy. Come on."

"Just so you can get off on hearing Kurogane's voice? Fai, that's pathetic." Fai looks at his twin in horror. He's a little stung; his lips curve downwards, and Yuui hastens to apologize. "Oh, no, I didn't mean that, Fai. You aren't pathetic."

He's still feeling hurt, but Fai isn't one to let opportunities slip by. "Then try it. I just— I just want to hear him talk to me."

Yuui exhales deeply, settles down cross-legged in front of his computer. "Fine, fine. I'll try it. But only this once."

Fai brightens by an increment. "You don't really think I'm pathetic, do you, Yuui?"

"No, of course not," his brother says hurriedly. "You know you're my favorite person."

"Then... Please?" He edges forward in his seat, pressing his face close to the screen.

Yuui clears his throat, pitches his voice deep. " _Like this?_ " he asks. " _This is embarrassing._ "

"That's too low. A little higher and angrier,  _like this._ "

It takes a number of iterations for Yuui's voice to come close, and Fai blushes in delight when his brother grumbles almost exactly like Kurogane does when he's in one of his moods. "Yuui," he breathes, "You're amazing."

" _Damn you, Flowright,_ " his twin growls in a voice very similar to the gym teacher's, and Fai's heart skips a beat. " _Get your ass over here right this second—_ "

"Yuui," he whines. His eyes slip shut; heat jolts through his middle, and blood gathers in his groin, pushing into and filling out awakening flesh.

What Fai learns very quickly is that Kurogane's voice, suffused with what his twin knows of his kinks, gets him achingly hard in the span of some seconds. He's shoving his clothes out of the way and wrapping hungry fingers around himself, and Yuui's groaning low in his ears, demanding that he adjust the webcam. Fai does so willingly, spreads his legs, tugs at his flushed length, and he doesn't need to look to know that Yuui's doing the same.

Yuui's breath hitches in his ears—he sees both his twin and Kurogane in that sound, and his blood thrums hot in his veins, stretching and sensitizing him to the point of sheer pleasure with each stroke. His thighs are quivering and tension is winding in his gut and he shivers when Yuui growls. He's visualizing one of them in him and the other around, and then he's spurting so hard that he isn't even thinking about where he's leaving his mess, only knowing heavy, pulsing pleasure that sends dark spots dancing across his vision.

When he's conscious enough to draw his wits about him again, Fai finds Yuui wiping his laptop and floor down with his wadded-up yoga pants. He shifts his gaze—and groans.

"What is it?" Yuui asks wryly, not at all curious because he already knows.

"It went between the keys!" Fai howls despairingly, staring at sticky white that's slowly seeping into the hollows of his keyboard. "Yuui!"

His twin snorts. "Clean it up before it gets worse."

He pulls a pout, grabs a tissue and begins his own tidying.

They're sitting in silence a few minutes later when Yuui asks suddenly, hesitant, "You aren't going to seduce Kurogane now, are you?"

Fai blinks at his twin, thinks over his words. "Are you afraid I will?"

Yuui pauses for a bit. "Yeah. I'd rather not do that again, but you really liked it."

"I won't seduce him, promise. What if we did that only as a treat?" he suggests. "Once in a blue moon. I still like you best, Yuui. We won't do it again if you hate it."

At that, his twin cracks a smile. "We'll compromise," he agrees. "We're adults, aren't we?"

Fai grins, leans in close and blows a kiss at Yuui's pixelated face. "Yes, we're adults, Yuui. We don't screw around anymore."

A beat of silence hangs between them. Then they burst out laughing at the same time, and it's the best feeling ever.

* * *

**xxiii.**

It isn't easy looking Kurogane in the eye the next morning without flushing to the roots of his hair, but Fai manages it somehow.

"Did I grow a second head?" Kurogane growls at him from the pantry table, and Fai diligently forces his eyes back onto the hot water dispenser. It shouldn't be this difficult to make himself a cup of coffee. All he has to do is not stare at the other man and not remember his video call with Yuui.

"You only... have one head, Kuropon-sensei," Fai chirps, and it's so very hard to keep euphemisms from flooding his mind. He tucks his chin in to hide the flush that creeps up his throat, fumbles with his mug. The last thing he needs is for Kurogane to think (discover) that the little crush is back. (He's very glad that he's wearing the turtleneck sweater today.)

So Fai busies his hands with spooning out coffee granules and condensed milk in a bid to avoid any sort of eye contact at all.

"Oi," Kurogane says, biting into one of his store-bought onigiri. "You're acting weird."

"Oh, I am?" His voice is a little too high and it's too late to take it back. Fai swears inwardly at himself. The sooner he gets out of the pantry, the happier everyone will be. Or maybe he should work on making Kurogane hate him more. If the other man hates him, then he definitely doesn't stand a chance of anything happening between them, and he knows better than to court heartbreak.

"You can't look me in the eye."

A thousand or so curses run through his head; Fai crinkles his eyes shut and grins blindingly at the gym teacher. "It's just an allergy I've got, Kurorin-sensei. I need some fresh air, so I'll be out of here really soon!"

He's expecting to be called out on his lies at any second when Yuuko pops her head around the pantry doorway. "Oh, you boys are early today!"

Fai startles. The intrusion is unexpected but welcome, and he feels his anxiety seep away with every second his employer remains. Anything to get the gym teacher's attention off himself.

"What now, witch?" Kurogane bristles, angling a sour glare at her. "You're the one who's early. I'm always here at this time."

The director looks between them with some measure of craftiness. "So rude, Kurogane-sensei. Do that again and I'll see to it that you'll be serving me every morning. Wine, if possible." She flicks her smoky gaze to Fai, who remains where he is, hanging on to his mug and her presence like the survivor of a capsized boat. He has his coffee now, and he's looking forward to avoiding Kurogane until the memories from last night dissipate. "I need help with some things."

"I can help!" Fai sings, jumping at the opportunity to leave.

"Thank you, Fai-sensei. I'll need your big, strong arms too, Kurogane-sensei," Yuuko announces. Her grin is wide and just as ominous as a Cheshire's.

Fai's stomach sinks like a rock.

Kurogane mutters under his breath, scowls. "I'm still eating."

"Five minutes. Meet me in my office." She wriggles her fingers at them and disappears.

"I need to get some things done," Fai says in a rush right after she leaves, and he is most definitely not acknowledging Kurogane's red stare pricking holes into his back. "See you later, Kurowan-sensei!"

.

His escape is short-lived. Fai has regained some measure of composure by the time he arrives a minute late at Yuuko's office, to find Kurogane glaring daggers at her. "Did I miss something?" he lilts, loping over the tiled floor to share a hug with Yuuko. (The director's perfume is dark and musky and a butterfly brooch is pinned on her breast today.)

"Puppy-sensei is being a fine example of an ill-natured dog." Yuuko's grin spreads wide and catty—it's clear she has the upper hand in this situation.

"Well, what would you like Kurowan-sensei and I to assist you with?" Fai can't help but ask, and Kurogane's ire shifts onto him. He gives the man his megawatt smile.

"Moving a few books." Yuuko rises from her chair, leads them in a brisk walk to the staff library, and waves towards the books on the numerous solemn steel shelves. "Put all of these in boxes and label them. I want these shelves rearranged."

Behind them, Kurogane splutters. "That's not 'a few books'!"

Yuuko turns a sly leer on him. "Are you saying you're incapable of such a trivial job?"

"I have classes to prepare for," the gym teacher seethes. "I can't stand around doing crap like this all day."

"Yes, you can. I'm cancelling your classes for today." Yuuko smirks. "Yours too, Fai-sensei."

"What?" Kurogane gapes and jabs a finger at their employer. "You can't fucking do that."

"No classes!" Fai cheers, mustering his brightest smile. He's getting the worst feeling about this.

Yuuko pats them both on the shoulder and waltzes out with a dismissive wave. "I'll be back in an hour! Maybe two."

Fai watches helplessly after her, then chances a glance at Kurogane, who's studying him silently. (He forgets to breathe for a moment.) They haven't really been alone together since the conversation in his office, and that only spanned a matter of minutes. He's jerked off to his twin pretending to be this man less than twenty-four hours ago; being stuck here with him now simply takes the cake.

At least, Fai thinks, he isn't in some twisted alternate reality where he and Kurogane forget everything and have hot sex on the library floor. No. He'd be insane to let that happen.

(Still.)

"Well." Fai pulls a smile back onto his face, turns away. "I'll find some boxes. You can do the heavy work, Kuropuu-sensei."

"What." Red eyes glitter at him like banked coals.

"You heard Yuuko-sensei," Fai explains, waving his hands about. He's starting to walk backwards when his shoe catches on the carpet—dread sears through his gut. He flails, stumbles backwards, glances at the other man in a split second of helplessness—

Kurogane is suddenly beside him, grabbing him by the arm and hauling him back onto his feet. He doesn't let go immediately; Fai tries to blink his confusion away, tries to smile.

"Stop that," Kurogane mutters, eyes intense and fixed on him. "You aren't fooling anyone with that smile."

"But I'm smiling." He really is. Teeth bared, eyes almost closed.

"You're still scared."

"I'm—" He's right. Kurogane's right and Fai doesn't know how he should react, not when the other man is so close and he's still not letting go. "Is there a better way to go about doing things? Everyone likes a smile, you know."

"Quit spouting that crap." Kurogane leans in here, catching Fai so far off-guard with his proximity that his eyes widen, and he's staring breathlessly at Kurogane's face inches away from his. Kurogane has some very kissable lips. His stomach flips.

"But—"

"All or nothing. The truth, or shut up. Stop smiling if you can't."

His cheek muscles are starting to tire. "No one wants to look at ugly things," he says tiredly, and his smile slips by a little.

"The truth is the truth. Lies are what's fucking ugly." Kurogane releases his elbow then, steps away. "If you want to be beautiful, then tell the truth like it is."

The smile drops completely from his face, and Fai stares at the gym teacher, his colleague and first love and he wonders.

"That's more like it." Kurogane turns towards the shelves, begins pulling haphazard books to the edges. "Weren't you getting the boxes?"

"I-I am," he fumbles, whipping around to look for somewhere to place the books. His cheeks are hot and he can't stop thinking,  _Maybe I can be beautiful._

* * *

**xxiv.**

"—And she wanted us to do the weirdest things, Yuui!" Fai complains over the video call, stuffing his face with heavy, delicious chocolate cake. He deserves it, he justifies, because he's spent nearly the entire day with Kurogane and he needs a reward for not losing his mind or giving himself away. "Like heavy lifting, but oh gods, Yuui, he bent over and that track suit hides  _nothing_."

On his screen, Yuui covers his face with a hand. "Fai," he groans, muffled. "Please tell me you weren't staring."

He sticks his tongue out at his twin. "If you were here, we'd both be staring. I just know it."

"I don't even like him."

Fai loses some of his exhilaration then, sinks back into his seat. "You know," he says quietly, "I tried teasing him about what he does over the weekends. Don't frown, listen to what I have to say— He visits his parents every weekend."

"And?" Yuui raises a golden eyebrow, skeptical.

It's a miracle that Kurogane was even willing to share this with him. Is this the result of not hiding from the man? "And his mom's sick. She's been sick a while and—not just that, but he skipped a year of school so he could work to pay for her hospital bills."

Neither of them speaks for a long while.

"That's not what I expected," Yuui finally says.

"I feel a little sorry for him," Fai admits. "He's a good person, Yuui, you know that."

"Still, he hurt you."

"He apologized."

"He did?" Yuui's jaw drops and he's leaning in close, eyes wide.

"Yeah." Fai breathes a sigh, relieved that he doesn't have to hide that from his twin any longer. "I think he's always been a good person."

Yuui moves his lips soundlessly, stunned speechless. Fai waits. "I— I guess I was aware of that on a subconscious level," Yuui admits slowly, eyes downcast. "I just... It's hard to admit to that when he made you so sad."

"I don't blame you for it, you know that."

Yuui nods. They sink into their own thoughts for a few moments, and Yuui is the first to break the silence. "Is she better now? His mother?"

Fai shrugs. "He wasn't keen on talking too much about her, but it sounds like she's not doing too badly."

"That's good."

"Yeah."

Another stretch of silence, then, "I'm still not sure it's a good idea to fall head-over-heels for him, Fai."

He gives a dry laugh. "Me neither, but you know me, Yuui."

His twin sighs and shakes his head, but there's a fond smile tugging at his lips.

"He's not with Doumeki-san anymore, you know. But he said Doumeki-san said he should apologize to me."

Yuui blinks at that. "They... I guess I didn't expect that. Everyone back in high school thought they'd marry if it was legal for them to."

"Yeah." Fai remembers the old jealousy and bitterness, isn't keen on experiencing that again. He has Yuui, always has, so it shouldn't matter if Kurogane's dating anyone. And yet. "I don't know if he's with anyone now."

"Maybe it's a good idea to find out so you don't get too close," his twin suggests. "If you fall back on the past as a lesson."

"But what if he's single and available?" Fai inhales shakily, wary. "I don't want to fall and be hurt again."

Yuui pulls a face. "I wish I could be there to hug you. Give me Yuuko-sensei's email address—I'll contact her and see if she has a vacancy. Maybe I can take up teaching courses back in Japan instead."

"But your dream job," Fai protests, frowning once more. "You can't just up and leave it."

"We've talked about this, Fai." Yuui matches his frown. "You're more important than a dream job, and you know that."

He pouts, gloominess and warmth warring within his ribs. "But I want you to be happy."

"I'm happy when you are. Don't be silly."

"Am not." But a little smile is teasing at the corner of his mouth, and Fai can't stay unhappy for long, not when he's so loved. "But I'll convince you to like Kurogane, just you wait."

"Fai, no."

"Yes, Yuui. Then we can go butt-watching together."

"Fai!"

* * *

**xxv.**

To Fai's surprise, Kurogane doesn't get tired of him, or profess to hate him. Instead, all he receives are sullen grumbles, frowns, and the occasional light knock to the head. The gym teacher seems resigned where the nicknames are concerned, to Fai's delight. And as the days roll by, he spends so much time trying to come up with more ridiculous handles that he begins to think of Kurogane as Kuro-rin, or Kuro-pon, or Kuro-puu.

(Yuui never picks those nicknames up.)

Sometimes, he makes breakfast onigiri for Kurogane, and Fai tells him that they're from both himself and Yuui, because Yuui was around to suggest improvements so they turn out better. Sometimes, he spies Kurogane walking along the chemistry lab corridors on an errand for Yuuko, and calls the gym teacher in to help with demonstrations.

(Most times, those don't end well. Kurogane even gets his eyebrows singed once.)

(He still walks by the chemistry lab instead of taking detours, and when Fai asks for assistance, he hesitates and grumbles, but trudges in and carries beakers of solutions that make him wonder if he should really be doing as Fai says.)

Once, Fai cajoles Kurogane into attending a physics demonstration by their colleague. The experiment is one on static electricity—more of a middle school subject than one from the high school syllabus, but the equipment is on loan from Horitsuba Middle School and Fai figures it'll be fun to see how Kurogane reacts to it.

Before a full class of students, Kurogane steps onto a plastic stool so he isn't grounded, and places his hand on the silver dome of the electrostatic generator. The physics teacher turns the generator on; Fai watches in delight when it hums and Kurogane's short hair begins to stand on end. It isn't very much of a demonstration, though—anyone can see that. So Sorata, the physics teacher, sets a stool next to Kurogane and instructs Fai to stand on it.

He's surprised—he has not discussed this with Sorata, but obeys anyway. Then the physics teacher says, "Hold hands, you guys," and Fai can only stare at his colleagues, mouth agape in shock.

"You were the one who wanted this, idiot." Kurogane scoffs, grabs his hand lightly, and there's a painful, white-purple spark jumping between them before they make contact.

His hand is enveloped in warm, calloused skin; Fai feels his breath catch, his skin prickle, and he isn't paying attention to the way his hair straightens away from his scalp.

"I'm raising the voltage by a little," Sorata informs the class. Fai thinks he feels a light tingling coursing through his body (though maybe he's imagining it).

It's only when every strand of hair on his head is taut with energy and Sorata's some feet in front of them holding a mirror up that Fai sees himself and Kurogane together, his own hair extending radially outward like rays of sunlight some child drew with a ruler. Kurogane's hair doesn't look much different from before.

But it isn't so much Kurogane's hair as it is the little amused quirk playing at the corner of his mouth, that makes Fai's stomach flip when he notices it. He stares.

This is the first time in recent memory that he's seen anything of that sort on Kurogane, and he can't stop looking.

He's sunk, he's breathless, and  _oh gods_  he's screwed.

Later, when they're both on the way back to the staff room, Kurogane taps the side of his head with a couple of fingers. "Fried your brains?"

"Huh? Oh. Um." Fai thinks he feels heat creeping back up his neck, and begins chattering about his next planned experiment, if just so Kurogane won't be able to read his scattered nerves. He hopes it throws the gym teacher off.

(Yuui heaves a huge sigh and shakes his head when they next talk.)

* * *

**γ.**

(He isn't swayed by Fai's acting in the least. The blond never does reveal how he spends his weekends, and they aren't close enough for him to ask without it coming off as nosy. But he's seen the spirited way Fai teaches, knows that the idiot doesn't put up a front when he thinks Kurogane isn't around.

Fai is very real, very human, and he doesn't see the pieces of himself shining through his cracks.

Kurogane begins to question if this is fate giving him a second chance.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are still enjoying this fic? ;)
> 
> (Also I don't know the exact specifics about the electrostatic generator and whether it would really raise so much hair on two linked adults.. the pictures I've seen are only of one (usually tiny) person with all their hair standing on end. :o)


	4. The Inevitable

**xxvi.**

Somewhere along the line, Fai forgets to pretend in front of Kurogane. Maybe it's the way the other man relaxes more when he does, maybe it's the way Kurogane glowers at him until he stops hiding behind a smile, or maybe it's the way Kurogane occasionally grins, necessitating a private break so Fai can regain his stolen breath.

The quarterly staff event occurs with much fanfare—it turns out that the rearranged staff library shelves are part of a game ("a giant fucking maze," as aptly described by Kurogane), one out of many strange new activities that the director herself has invented. Fai wheedles his way out of the kissing game (because lunch was sashimi and everyone has fish breath) and happily watches on while Kurogane is somehow tricked into giving Yuuko a kiss. (It turns out supremely awkward. And hilarious.)

Fai relates all the happenings to Yuui with no lack of delight. Yuui has given his notice at the restaurant, and is awaiting his move back to Japan—something Fai eagerly awaits. Already, he has procured a larger bed for his (their) bedroom and an additional closet, though he doesn't need new pots and pans (Yuui took some of theirs with him, and will be bringing them back).

* * *

**xxvii.**

Kurogane bumps into them in the staff dormitory on the night of Yuui's return. It is inevitable, perhaps, but none of them is thinking it. Fai is giddy with his twin's presence; he's all but pressing his face into Yuui's neck as they stumble down the corridor, each clinging to the other and barely dragging Yuui's suitcases along. Their eyes are cloudy blue, lips red, and Kurogane grunts a greeting, watch as they fumble their way into Fai's apartment and shut the door tight behind them.

Inside, the curtains are drawn, Fai is pinning Yuui to the wall and their clothes are coming off, and they're silencing each other's moans with deep kisses and undoing that with deeper thrusts.

They don't remember to eat until late that night (Yuui cooks), and when Yuuko introduces Yuui to the staff as the relief English teacher the next morning, both of them have bags under their eyes and are wearing matching turtlenecks.

Kurogane notices, but he doesn't say a thing. Fai doesn't show up at the pool the entire week save for once, when Kurogane is doing a later-than-usual swim, and the twins appear together, Fai clinging onto his brother's arm. There's hardly anyone around, and they're still in those turtlenecks even though summer is encroaching upon them with its heavy heat. He greets them; Fai chirps a hello, and Yuui nods coolly at him. Kurogane leaves before they've exited from the changing room.

* * *

**xxviii.**

Fai begins to invite Kurogane over for dinner two weeks after Yuui's return. It starts off as a weekly event, friendly, and also a ploy to convince Yuui of the other man's better traits. Sometimes he leaves Kurogane and Yuui alone to talk while he hides in the bathroom for a bit, and at others, he annoys them both—they're beginning to notice that they find the same sort of childish behavior annoying; they're beginning to notice each other.

It's mostly a good thing. Fai feels tendrils of jealousy take root, but he ignores it. They aren't pursuing Kurogane for real, after all.

Slowly, they grow accustomed to the gym teacher's non-intrusive presence in their home, and the semester is meandering towards its end when Fai latches on to Yuui while he's cooking in the kitchen.

"Yuui," he whispers in his brother's ear, "you haven't kissed me all day."

Yuui frowns, gives him a sidelong glance. "You invited Kurogane-sensei over for dinner. He's sitting in the living room, and you want a kiss?"

"He won't know." Fai grins. Yuui shakes his head at him, and he wraps his arms around the other's waist, slips his fingers up Yuui's chest.

"He could just be passing by and he could see us," Yuui hisses in return, but he's shivering beneath Fai's touch, and Fai slips a finger past his waistband. "Fai!"

"Just a kiss." He trails moist lips down Yuui's neck, pushes his hips into the other's butt, and Yuui barely stifles a groan. His twin's heart is thudding solidly into his palm. "Please?"

"Just—"

It's easy to convince Yuui. Fai knows everything about him, where he should touch to completely secure his twin's attention, and he's scraping short nails over Yuui's nipple through his shirt.

Yuui's breath hitches. He turns the burner off, takes the frying pan off the heat so their chicken won't burn. "Just a short one."

Fai grins—he knows he's won this round—and Yuui flicks a quick look at the kitchen doorway, listens out for signs of movement in the rooms beyond. But there isn't any, and Fai turns him around, claims his lips hungrily. It's all of a slow, controlled kiss until Fai's finger (maybe) slips, pressing into that one spot on Yuui's hip, and he gasps, tightens his grip in Fai's hair.

It's an autocatalytic reaction, like permanganate in the reduction of oxalic acid—that one touch sends heat coursing through his veins, and he's grinding up against Yuui in a way that draws a choked moan from his brother's throat. They're burning together, grabbing and rutting and when Yuui finally jerks away, cheeks flushed and pupils dilated, Fai whines.

Then Yuui looks towards the kitchen doorway, and his cheeks pale just as suddenly.

Fai whips his head around—Kurogane's standing there in shock, crimson eyes glinting with realization, broad shoulders spanning the exit—and his stomach clenches into a tight knot. He tries to say something, but his throat works and nothing emerges from it.

The silence hanging between them is tense and heavy; Fai doesn't even dare extract himself from Yuui, in case the movement sets off something irreversible.

"Sorry," Kurogane mutters eventually, lifting the cellphone almost hidden in his large hand. "I had to take a call. Thought I'd mention it in case you thought I'd left."

They're still gaping at him, and Fai licks his wet lips, slowly peels himself off his brother. "Okay. Okay. You didn't see anything," he adds suddenly, fiercely. "You can report me to Yuuko-sensei, but if you lay a finger on Yuui, I won't forgive you."

"Fai," Yuui says, warningly.

"I'm not losing you to anything," he hisses back. "Not you, Yuui."

Kurogane stares between them for another moment—then he's huffing and turning away. "This isn't any of my business. Do what you want."

They gape at him; heartbeats tick by. It doesn't take Fai long to remember that this is who Kurogane is.  _(If you want to be beautiful, then tell the truth like it is.)_

Understanding dawns in Yuui's eyes, and when his twin looks worriedly towards the kitchen doorway, Fai nudges him in the side. "Go talk to him, Yuui. Hurry."

They slip out of the kitchen together, hand-in-hand. Kurogane's leaning on the wall by the front door, glancing down at his phone. Fai hangs back when they cross the threshold into the living room, uncertain. Despite what the gym teacher said, the relationship he shares with Yuui is something the majority of the population frowns upon (they'd learned it early on from Ashura, and had taken care to keep this out of sight of even their godfather).

"Sorry about that, Kurogane-sensei," Yuui begins apologetically, a rosy flush on his cheeks. "You're still welcome to stay for dinner—I've cooked enough for three, and I promise we won't do that in front of you again."

Kurogane's steady gaze shifts from Yuui to Fai; Fai grimaces, doesn't dare meet his eyes. Despite how they've become relatively close friends, he's never once mentioned the exact nature of his relationship with his brother. Will Kurogane lose complete interest in both of them? (That is for the best, isn't it?)

The silence between them seems to drag on forever, until Kurogane shrugs. "I keep my word. I agreed to dinner."

Fai sags in relief; Yuui smiles brightly at both of them. "Well then," Yuui says, "I'll let the two of you chat while I finish up with dinner."

The look in Yuui's eyes reads,  _This is your fault, deal with it._

Fai returns with a pleading glance. Yuui is unmoved; he tugs his hand gently from Fai's and returns to the kitchen. Disgruntled, Fai makes a face at his twin's retreating back. "Yuui will play the organ for us after dinner," he declares, just so Kurogane's attention wouldn't be anchored to him alone.

"Fai!" Yuui yells back, "I can hear you from here. You're not signing me up for that."

"I'll sing along with you," he offers. Kurogane's eyebrows crawl up, so he adds, "We used to be in the choir at church."

There's something resembling amusement on the larger man's face. "You went to church?"

"We were forced to," he explains wryly. "You haven't lost your touch, have you, Yuui?"

Yuui is quiet for a bit. Then, "I haven't. I think," he grumbles. "But you can't make me do that."

"C'mon, Yuui, consider it an apology to Kuromyu-sensei."

"But that was your fault!"

"The organ hasn't been touched since the last time you played on it. You'd better make sure it's still working."

Kurogane sighs loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Look, I don't need an apology, all right? Damn twins."

Fai pouts at him. "You're disgusted with us, aren't you?" he asks quietly, fully expecting the gym teacher to up and leave. Yuui's right—this really is his fault. It figures that he'd lose this friendship with Kurogane right when he's painstakingly built it to stronger than it was before.

Kurogane glares at him. "Don't go around saying that, you idiot. Stop putting words in my mouth."

"Then—"

"I'm not disgusted. Just surprised, is all."

There's no sign of a lie on the other man's face. Fai stares at him doubly hard to be sure. (There really isn't.) Without any evidence of the contrary, he leans back against the couch, laughs weakly in sheer relief. "Kuropon-sensei is such a saint."

"I'm not."

It's maybe his imagination that Kurogane's eyes darken a little, but Fai brushes it off before his stomach decides to leap through his throat. Instead, he begins to tell the other man stories from his and Yuui's childhood. (Because why not?)

In the end, they have dinner together at the dining table, and Fai drags the old keyboard out while Yuui does the dishes. Then, since it's a Friday night, he sings some familiar songs while his brother plays on the organ, and they attempt (not as successfully) to hit the alto and soprano ranges from their church-going years. Wine gets involved somehow; Kurogane even contributes a folk song, and they collapse giggling into bed soon after the gym teacher has retired to his apartment.

Fai has his face buried in Yuui's neck and his hands halfway down Yuui's clothes when his twin says, surprisingly lucidly, "I think I see why you like him."

He tips his head up and kisses his beautiful other half. "Do you like him, then?"

A dusting of pink surges into Yuui's cheeks. "After tonight... I didn't think he'd be so calm about us, you know."

Fai waits patiently while Yuui processes his thoughts, slowly undressing his twin for bed.

"I think I might grow to like him," Yuui whispers.

"Then we'll share," he says, kissing down Yuui's jaw. There isn't really a question about that, unless... (And this hurts to think about.) "Unless you'd rather have him for yourself."

"No," Yuui tells him resolutely. "You'll always come first, Fai. Or would you rather we—"

Fai presses his fingertips to Yuui's lips. "Don't even say it, Yuui. I can't— I don't want to think about it."

Yuui relaxes, kisses his fingers. Then his tongue darts out, soft and slick, and Fai gulps. "It's all or nothing. If we decide we want him, then he'll have to accept both of us, or none at all."

"Mm." Fai nods and slings his thigh across Yuui's hips, snuggling up close. Deep down, he isn't so sure. Kurogane seems to prefer Yuui more, both then and now. It's not something he wants to think about at the moment, so he focuses on kissing Yuui instead, digging his fingers into Yuui's skin so he moans.

For now, this is enough.

* * *

**xxix.**

Kurogane catches a cold the following week. It isn't a severe one, but Yuuko sends him home anyway, and Yuui takes over the physical ed. classes for the day. Both Fai and Yuui accompany Kurogane back to his apartment—Yuui to find out what the gym teacher does during his lessons, and Fai just for the fun of it.

They haven't been in Kurogane's place before. It's neat like the times Yuui bothers to clean their apartment up, and on one floor-length bookcase is an assortment of manga and anime figurines. Fai whoops and goes to investigate; Yuui sighs, shakes his head, begins discussing lesson plans with Kurogane. It looks like Kurogane has no intentions of lying in bed (like a good dog should), instead settling himself on his couch, and Fai takes the opportunity to poke around in his other rooms.

The gym teacher's kitchen is a little pathetic—like Fai's was before Yuui moved in—and there are some fruits and vegetables and healthy things in his fridge. His bathroom is plain, with just the minimum amount of toiletries like a toothbrush and razor and some soap, and there are posters in his bedroom, mostly of male characters—

"Idiot!" The hell are you doing?" Kurogane snaps, before dissolving into a fit of coughing.

"Fai!" Yuui's frowning at him, and he backs sheepishly out of Kurogane's bedroom (his bed is narrow and only wide enough for one), loping easily back into the living room.

"Kuropin-sensei's bed is tiny," he says, looking between Yuui and Kurogane. "How do you not fall off it?"

Kurogane glowers. "I sleep like any other normal person," he grumbles. "Stay out of my things."

"I've seen most of it," Fai adds then, slyly, much to Yuui's horror and Kurogane's aggravation. "You eat boring food."

Kurogane rolls his eyes. Yuui frowns. "You'd eat cake for dinner every day if you could, Fai. That's worse."

"You're siding with him!" Fai gasps in (faked) dismay and pouts. He turns away, sees Yuui exchanging a look with Kurogane, and proceeds to stomp out of the apartment. Yuui needs more time with their neighbor, after all.

There's a faint flush on Yuui's cheeks when he finally closes the front door behind him. Fai stares, tucks his plastic sliding puzzle away and hurries over to wrap himself around his brother's arm. "What happened?"

"Nothing." Yuui looks the faintest bit uncomfortable, and he heads them away from Kurogane's apartment.

"Did you kiss?"

"No!" Deep furrows crinkle on Yuui's smooth forehead; his blush deepens.

"But you're starting to like him."

"I... well. Nothing happened, Fai." Yuui's features are tinted with embarrassment. He doesn't look away, however.

"I think you'll finally be ready to ogle him at the pool once he recovers," Fai whispers conspiratorially.

Yuui flushes so much he resembles one of his ripest tomatoes, and Fai says nothing. He doesn't need to.

* * *

**xxx.**

"I don't know about this," Yuui whispers in bed a few nights later. The curtains are drawn shut; there's a little orange nightlight at the corner of the room that faintly traces the outlines of their faces.

"About Kuro-sama, you mean?" Fai reaches up to brush Yuui's hair away from his face, nuzzling his forehead. Both of them smell faintly of chlorine.

"Mm."

"Are you scared?"

Yuui inhales deeply. "I don't know. I just... It's always been you, Fai. This is just... new to me. With Kurogane-sensei. I don't want to lose interest in you or lose what we have."

"We aren't talking about a relationship with him, are we?" The very thought makes Fai shy away from the topic—he hasn't forgotten the wounds from the past.

"I'm... I'm curious. And yet, I don't want to change things. I think I'm scared."

"We aren't changing things, Yuui." Fai kisses him. "I know we've talked about this. But if I have to choose between him and you, I'll choose you. You know that."

"I know. It's just... we were at the pool, and." Yuui swallows noisily. He's always been the shyer of them. "I just didn't expect... that to happen."

"It's normal. It happened to me too. Still happens." Fai reaches down and pats him lightly between his legs. "I had a feeling that you only get aroused by people you care about."

"How did you know?"

He shrugs. "It's just a feeling."

For a while, they lie together in silence, Yuui on his back, Fai draped halfway across him. Fai listens to the soft breathing of his brother, and the ticking of the alarm clock on the bedside table.

"I still don't know about relationships, you know," Fai eventually says. "Somehow I just don't think Kuro-pii would be interested in me."

"He looks at you sometimes."

"He looks at you too."

"No, but he looks at you like he's interested."

Fai gulps; his heart flutters for a bit. Then his stomach drops a little. "But does he look at you the same way?"

Yuui shrugs against him. "I don't know. I can't tell."

It feels like his heart wants to break. If Kurogane were interested in only Fai, then Fai would reject him. It's only right to. "I... I don't know. I don't think he really likes me." Then, as his thoughts gain momentum, "he doesn't yell at you all the time. He tolerates you a lot more then he does me." And it hurts to say it, but, "I'm not his type."

Maybe his voice cracks a little; Fai doesn't know. He can't escape the ghosts from years ago, those very ones that still remain with him to this day. It's easy to believe that, too, easy to believe that there's no potential there, instead of hoping and having that crash and burn. He's been there. It fucking hurts.

"Oh, Fai." Yuui pulls him close and hugs him tight. Somehow he's crying wet, salty tears all over Yuui's face, but Yuui doesn't mind. Yuui plants light kisses all over his cheeks and strokes gentle fingers through his hair. "He may be a better person now."

"Says you," he answers thickly.

"What do you think?"

He sniffles and slides off Yuui so he can wipe his tears and snot on the pillow instead of his twin, and he feels Yuui draw closer to wrap around him. Slowly, he pulls his thoughts together, what he knows of Kurogane as he is now.

Kurogane hasn't changed much from before, he doesn't think. Still grumpy, still direct, still seeing more than he should. Where it concerns love and affection, Fai doesn't know any more about Kurogane than he did years ago. They've avoided that topic aside from the one mention of Doumeki, and Fai hasn't thought of himself as standing more than a ghost of a chance where that's concerned.

"I don't know," he tells Yuui, voice rough. "All I ever hoped for was a fling, nothing even as serious as a relationship. Are you still angry with him?"

It takes Yuui some time to answer. When he does, his voice is soft, and he's stroking slow fingers down Fai's back. "Not anymore. I mean, it's not that I approve of what he did to you. But he was young and stupid, you might have been young and stupid—"

"Yuui!"

"We were all young and stupid," his twin amends dryly. "But we're adults now. Do you think things would work out better now if you told him you were interested?"

Grudgingly, Fai admits, "Maybe. But I don't want to risk it."

"We don't need to," Yuui points out. "We can like him from afar."

He feels the corners of his mouth pulling up in an unwilling smile. "You always make so much sense, Yuui."

Yuui's low chuckle rumbles through his body. "One of us has to, you know."

* * *

**xxxi.**

And so one pining twin turns into two.

Fai suspects that Kurogane knows. It's kind of difficult to miss all the long looks both he and Yuui have been shooting at him—before classes, during lunch breaks, after school, over dinner. They've been increasingly inviting him over, too. Once a week becomes twice becomes four times, and suddenly Kurogane's eating over every weekday when he isn't at his parents'. Yuui says it's just as easy to cook for three people as it is for two.

Sometimes they ply the gym teacher with wine and then curl up around him and watch TV. If either (or both) of them pretends to fall asleep on his shoulder, well, they weren't planning on it. (The first time was done in jest, to see how Kurogane would respond. The taller man sighed, scooped them together, and threw a blanket on top of them before he left for the night.)

(They ended up falling irreversibly hard for him.)

Sometimes they drag him along to the supermarket on their weekly grocery runs, each slinging an arm through Kurogane's, chattering brightly. He doesn't mind when they give him the heaviest bags (because gym teachers are the strongest and need exercise), and Fai skips away with the lightest ones (sometimes Yuui has Fai carry bags of sugar and flour because most of those go into the desserts that Fai inhales).

On the weekends, Kurogane visits his parents, Fai spends most of his day at the orphanage, and Yuui attends his teaching courses (but Yuuko is already looking into securing him a full-time position, teaching license or no. She says the current cooking teacher is leaving after this semester. Kurogane speculates that the director merely wants Yuui working full-time in the kitchen so she has a ready supply of delicacies going to her office).

* * *

**xxxii.**

There comes a weekend when Kurogane stays behind at the staff apartments over the weekend because his parents are going on a short trip, and it just so happens to coincide with a break in Yuui's teaching courses. Fai brings them both to the orphanage he volunteers at. Yuui is delighted—he's been there on a few occasions now—and Kurogane is bewildered by the little children swarming around his legs, all of them fascinated by just how tall he is.

Fai introduces him to Red-chan and Blue-chan (whose names are actually Ame and Zashiki), and they begin talking at him in English (rather, Ame talks, and Zashiki holds back and listens). Kurogane frowns at them—English wasn't his strongest subject in school—while Fai chides them into allowing Kurogane some breathing space. Kurogane ends up following Yuui around when Fai begins his weekly lessons.

At the end of of the day, Fai sits with the girls on either side of him, and they ask him about his week. They exchange stories, and it takes him by surprise when Ame asks, "Have you and Yuui-sensei told him?"

"Told who what?" Fai replies, smiling. They're still speaking in English, so he plays along to see what they'd discuss in that language.

"Kuropon-sensei," Zashiki chimes in, so comfortable with him that she doesn't mind speaking up. "He doesn't growl a lot."

He laughs in delight. "Well, he growls sometimes. But mostly at me."

"Have you told him?" Ame repeats. Both girls look at him curiously, eyes wide with anticipation. "You said you and Yuui-sensei like him."

Fai's next chuckle is a little more forced. "Well, we think he'll just bark at us. You know."

There's a light cough from the doorway to the side, one that's surrounded by crayon drawings, and Fai turns.

Yuui's standing next to Kurogane; he's red in the face and the tips of his ears are pink, and the look in his eyes reads,  _You did not just say that. We're so screwed._

_Oh gods._  Heart lodging in his throat, Fai darts his gaze to Kurogane, who's wearing an expression he can't read. He looks back at Yuui.  _Help?_

_I don't know what to do,_  is the wide-eyed look on Yuui's visage, and Fai pulls a grin onto his mouth. "Well, that's all for English class today," he tells the girls, rising to his feet. "Why don't you practice with each other, and I'll come back next weekend to visit you?"

The children chirp and wave, as do the others in the orphanage, and it feels like doom when they step out under the orange-streaked evening sky. Yuui's still silent, and so is Kurogane.

"What are we having for dinner?" Fai asks lightly, switching back to fluent Japanese. Food is always a safe topic.

"Pork?" Yuui says. They're still walking on either side of Kurogane, both dancing around the one subject that neither wants to talk about. "I know this fusion recipe that you've never tried—"

Kurogane stops walking suddenly, in the middle of the sidewalk on a quiet street. They're some distance yet from the school, and there's a park next to the sidewalk with a few people left around. Fai and Yuui turn to face him, identical looks of trepidation and wariness on their faces.

"Are we going to avoid that topic all night?" Kurogane frowns and stares hard at each of them in turn. "How long were you planning on keeping that from me?"

Fai tucks his fingers into Yuui's hand; Yuui gives him a light squeeze. He's about to start blabbering when Yuui says, quietly, "You want to talk about it?"

Kurogane narrows his eyes. "Of course I do. It concerns me, doesn't it?"

Yuui's lips press into a thin line. (Fai feels Yuui's pulse in his fingers. Both their hearts are pounding.) "It isn't as simple as that, Kurogane-sensei. If you knew how hurt Fai was the previous time, you'd understand why."

Fai winces, ducks his chin so he doesn't have to look at Kurogane. He feels the weight of Kurogane's stare on him, feels the nervous pattering of his pulse. Yuui is here with him. Things will turn out all right.

Kurogane releases a heavy sigh. "I've apologized—but it isn't enough, is it?"

"We weren't certain how you'd react," Yuui says. "Though we figured that you aren't dating anyone."

For all that Yuui is the shyer of them, he is also the braver one, and Fai loves him so much for it.

There's a pause before Kurogane shakes his head. "I'm not."

"Fai won't tell you, but he's afraid of being hurt again."

Heat scorches through his cheeks; Fai jerks his head up to stare accusingly at Yuui (how could Yuui tell Kurogane that?) but all his twin answers with is a fierce look.  _He needs to know or he'll do it again._

"And I won't let you hurt him another time," Yuui continues. His cheeks are pink, but he's staring straight at Kurogane, and suddenly Fai thinks that maybe Yuui is the one who really deserves the taller man. Yuui is brave; he isn't. "I like you, and Fai likes you, but none of that will matter if you hurt him, Kurogane-sensei."

Red eyes swivel to bore into him; Fai reluctantly meets that gaze.

"I understand," Kurogane says quietly. "I'm aware that I've done things that have led to unpleasant consequences. I won't do that again. But you're an idiot if you think you can get away with having your brother say everything on your behalf."

His stomach flips a few times on itself and he's squeezing Yuui's hand way too tightly. Yuui squeezes back, glances sidelong at him.  _Go on, tell him._

"I like you," Fai says in a rush. He isn't able to hold Kurogane's stare any longer—he drops his gaze, mumbles, "Can we start seeing each other?"

It's formal, it's nothing like the grinning, silly entreaty from years ago, and he's scared this time, chest full of a sick, sinking feeling that Kurogane will reject him, or reject them both. He's just about ready to turn tail and run, pull Yuui along and get the hell out of this place—

"Okay."

He barely pauses his thoughts, looks up breathlessly at Kurogane, who's looking between him and Yuui.

"You mean the three of us, right?" Kurogane's glance flicks back towards him.

Fai swallows, nods, and looks to Yuui so he knows he isn't hearing things. Yuui cracks a smile—there's relief in his eyes—and Fai sags into his side.

"That was difficult," he mumbles. "What do we do now?"

Yuui releases his hand. "I don't know. What do you think, Kurogane-sensei?"

The gym teacher shrugs. "Dinner?"

"Pork tonight, or would you like something different?" Yuui asks, smiling weakly.

"Wine. Lots of wine." Fai dares to smile a little bit (Kuro-pin hasn't rejected them, he's agreed to seeing both him and Yuui), and when Yuui leaves his side to take his usual spot beside Kurogane, Fai hurries to follow. He wraps his arm cautiously around Kurogane's, pulls it close, and when the larger man doesn't snap, leans in, testing the new boundaries of their relationship. The tightness in his gut is slowly starting to unwind; he touches his fingers carefully to Kurogane's, snuffles in surprise when the other responds with lightly-curling fingers.

He looks up, still disbelieving, and there is warmth in Kurogane's eyes. His breath stutters in his throat.

"Yuui," he whispers loudly, "I think Kurosama-sensei is smiling."

Yuui pokes his blond head around Kurogane's shoulder, bright-eyed. "Really?"

"Don't be an idiot," Kurogane mutters, turns away.

"He really is smiling," Yuui breathes, awestruck.

"You're both idiots." Kurogane growls, drags them down the sidewalk. Fai exchanges a look with Yuui behind his back, and they're both grinning, bright and happy and so very relieved.

* * *

**δ.**

(All they had to do was ask. This time, Kurogane swears it'll turn out different.)

 


	5. Alloy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And... the last part to this series - more a wrap up than anything new. This part is rated M for sexual content. :)

_orange are the scaled wings of the monarch butterfly_  
_all-knowing in her subtle machinations_  
_it is the gold-stained ruby of all-seeing eyes_  
_we are powerless against  
_ _when the sun crests the horizon and it's your eyes across from ours_

**xxxiii.**

When they get home from the orphanage, Fai drags Kurogane into the kitchen so all three of them can be together while Yuui prepares dinner. He plants himself in Kurogane's lap (more as a joke in case all of this isn't real), and lightly kisses the corner of Kurogane's mouth, tentatively, afraid to break this new arrangement between them.

Kurogane watches him calmly, doesn't reject nor push him into a heap on the floor, so he attempts to be a little braver, drags his lips across Kurogane's. The other man kisses him lightly back (warm and soft), red eyes dark, and he forgets to breathe.

"Fai," Yuui chides softly.

He can tell that Yuui's waiting, that Yuui wants to kiss Kurogane too, but Yuui's stuck with cooking right now. He decides that he'll not tempt his twin with Kurogane from so close.

Instead, he slinks over to his brother and wraps his arm around Yuui, kissing fervently down his neck. His other half shivers and attempts to swat him away. "Don't make me burn dinner, Fai!"

"It's not like you haven't burned dinners before," he retorts, and Yuui's blushing all the way past the neckline of his shirt.

"I'm a chef! I don't burn food!"

"Not unless you're doing something else that makes it worthwhile." Fai licks down his shoulder, and Yuui's breath hitches. Kurogane snorts behind them. They still; Fai turns slightly to study the gym teacher. "Will you get jealous, Kuro-pon?"

The larger man scoffs. "No."

"I told you he's a saint," Fai whispers, hugging Yuui close.

Yuui turns to smile hesitantly at their guest and friend. "Maybe he just likes looking."

At this, Kurogane clicks his tongue, looks away, and Fai thinks he sees the faintest trace of a blush on the other's cheeks. Yuui huffs a breath; they're both amused.

"Why don't we save it for after dinner?" Yuui suggests, and it feels like the quickest dinner Fai has ever eaten.

They start off slow, watching TV on the couch again, curled up on either side of Kurogane. It doesn't stay that way for long; Yuui leans in to claim his kiss, and Fai cautiously trails his fingers over Kurogane's chest.

Sex wasn't on the cards. On hindsight, it's just something else that's inevitable.

It begins with a kiss that dips beyond chastity, a quick intake of breath that none of them miss. A kiss with one twin turns into the other's attempt to steal it, with a deft, wet tongue that darts down a jaw and to the hollow beneath a ear. Fingers curl into hair, slip beneath clothes, noses press along throats to scent and tickle; nails are traced over abs and pectorals and nipples, and someone rolls his hips.

Seeking fingers curl over a growing bulge—he  _jerks_ —and clothes don't stay on long after that. They stumble their slow way to the bedroom half-naked (they've dreamed of this for far too long, all three of them), and they're tangled up on the bed, reverent hands touching and caressing and wet mouths leaving hot kisses down olive skin.

It's a mess of little moments—mouths sealing in open kisses, fingers pressing indents into firm, sculpted flesh, flushed lengths rutting into large palms and slender fingers pushing between legs, stretching and spreading and drawing hungry groans. Needy lips meet, hot breaths are exchanged, moisture slicks onto palms, and someone cries out when he's sucked into a warm, wet mouth, thighs spread wide and inviting.

Someone parts flesh and slides in deep, slides home, drawing a desperate groan that's silenced just as quickly by a thick, blunt tip pushing past red lips. They're surging within, leaning over to kiss with wet sounds that has the third dripping onto the sheets, clear droplets hanging by a thread. Someone reaches around, wraps fingers around straining flesh, and none of them are thinking straight in the frenzy of jerking, panting movement.

Then toe-curling  _(oh fuck yes)_  pleasure sweeps white-hot through one or two or all of them, wet heat spills into damp snugness or onto stained sheets, and the boundaries between them have been blurred past rescue.

Kurogane doesn't leave for his apartment that night.

.

When Fai wakes, the room is dim save for a shaft of golden light spilling through a gap in the curtains. Yuui's back is warm against his chest, tousled blond hair tickling his mouth.

Kurogane lies across from them both, wide awake. And as Fai stares, sunlight slips down the walls and onto his face, turning shadowed red eyes a blazing red-orange. His breath catches in his throat; his fingers dig into Yuui's arm, and his twin stirs awake. Yuui jerks back into him, yelping in surprise.

"Kurogane-sensei," he rasps hoarsely.

"Hey," Kurogane says.

Fai curls tighter around his twin, presses a kiss to his shoulder. "You didn't forget, did you, Yuui?"

Yuui laughs weakly in his arms—Fai knows he's still staring at their new lover. "I— I remember. I was just... caught by surprise."

"Do you regret this?" he says, looking at Kurogane. It would have been nerve-wracking if he'd been alone with the other man—too much to worry about now that lust isn't choking their thoughts. As it is, Yuui is between them, sheltering him in case Kurogane... Well, in case something happens.

The gym teacher looks between them for a long moment before he answers, and Fai wonders if he'll keep the peace even if he only likes one of them that way. "No."

He breathes a lungful of relief, shifts his palm so it's right over Yuui's heart. Yuui's pulse is still a quick staccato. "We've wanted to do this for a long time, you know, Kuro-sama." His twin tenses a little in his arms; he smiles and continues, "We've even pretended to be you to each other."

Chase him away before he breaks their hearts, right?

"Fai!" Yuui squeaks. His ears are turning pink, and so are Kurogane's cheeks.

"What?" the gym teacher splutters.

" _Get your ass down here, you damn idiot,_ " Fai growls, in a decent imitation of Kurogane's voice, and Yuui hunches over and tucks himself further away from the other man.

"Fai, no," he moans, covering his face.

The look on Kurogane's face is priceless.

"Yuui likes it a lot," he says, pushing his hips against Yuui's. "But I think you can do it better, Kuro-pon."

Kurogane is still gaping, and shades of red are washing through his cheeks.

"Fai started it," Yuui whines, covers his face. "I'm not dealing with this, Fai, you can stop hiding behind me."

With that, Yuui squirms out of his arms—Fai protests, and they wrestle with each other for a short while before Yuui gains the upper hand out of sheer desperation, and flops onto the mattress behind Fai instead, shoving him towards Kurogane.

Kurogane watches them with no small amount of exasperation. "How old are the two of you?"

"Twenty-four," they chorus. Fai adds, "We're just as old as you, Kuro-pon."

"Fai's older, but he doesn't act it."

Yuui gives him another shove, and Fai finds himself so close to Kurogane that he can feel the heat radiating off the other. He gulps. "Yuui, you aren't leaving me alone with big, scary Kuro-wan, are you?"

Flatly, "I am."

Kurogane frowns at him. "Both of you are idiots."

"I'm not an idiot," Yuui grumbles. Fai knows he's affronted, but also too fond of the gym teacher to really do anything about it. "I'm going to wash up. It'll be time to head to school soon."

"I haven't finished grading my assignments," Fai groans suddenly, turns his head into his pillow. "No, I'm not ready yet, Yuui."

Kurogane scoffs. "You had the entire weekend."

"Half of which we took turns pretending to be you."

"Fai!" Yuui's moan is muffled and strained. "I'm getting out of bed. Kurogane-sensei, he's all yours. I'm disowning him. You came along at just the right time."

"Yuui!" He turns and makes a grab for Yuui's waist before his twin can swing his legs off the bed. "You can't disown me!"

"You can embarrass yourself. I'm leaving you two alone." Yuui squirms against him, and Fai latches on even tighter. Squirms around so his face is right smack in Yuui's groin. "That's cheating, Fai, you can't—  _Mmmph_."

Yuui is very easily convinced. Both of them know that, and it doesn't take long for Yuui's back to arch, fingers scrabbling at the sheets.

"Fai." Yuui groans, rolls his hips, and Fai pushes him back down onto the mattress. "Kuro—  _Ugghh—_  Kurogane-sensei, help—"

From the corner of his eye, Fai sees Kurogane waver, forehead crinkling. He pulls away from Yuui's slick flesh, licks his lips. "I'm stopping, Yuui," he says.

Yuui whines. "What? You can't," he protests, screwed-shut eyes flying open, chest heaving. He flicks a desperate glance at Kurogane, who swallows and stares helplessly between them.

It turns out that Kurogane is rather easily convinced, too.

They show up very nearly late for class that morning.

* * *

**xxxiv.**

There's a quiet knock on his office door before Kurogane lets himself in, and Fai glances up from his computer screen with a measure of surprise. "Kuro-tan? Do you need something?"

It's been barely a day since the shift in their relationship; Fai wonders how exactly he should act around Kurogane. He doesn't dare drape himself all over the other man yet—this is still too new a bond and he can't bear to risk it. Kurogane's appearance comes as a pleasant distraction from reading the latest scholarly articles, however. He's finally completed grading his assignments not too long ago, and his next class is in half an hour. So, there's a bit of time for anything to happen, really.

Kurogane makes sure to shut the door behind him. "No. Just wanted to ask a few questions."

"Oh? What sort? Naughty ones or fun ones or boring ones?"

A snort. "You're an idiot." But he comes to stand in front of Fai's desk anyway, and Fai rakes his gaze all over Kurogane's face. (He's been so very close to that precious face and kissed those soft, soft lips.) "I wanted to hear things from you without having your brother interrupt."

Fai blinks. His stomach tightens a little.

"Are you really okay with this?" Kurogane gestures between them, sharp eyes fixed on him. "When I first joined the school, you were afraid of me."

He pulls his lip between his teeth, chews on it. "Things have changed, you know."

He's still afraid, a little. He still wonders if he shouldn't just let Kurogane and Yuui be together if Kurogane would prefer it that way. But Yuui would want him close as well—how does he fit into all this?

In an attempt to shift the focus away from himself, Fai asks, "Why did you agree to go out with us? You've been... Well, you've been friends with us for some time. I thought you weren't interested."

"Tch."

"I mean... Why us? Why me? You could just agree to going out with Yuui, you know." And that hurts to say, just like it sometimes hurts to think about Kurogane. Fai drops his gaze and fiddles with his keyboard.

The other man heaves an impatient sigh, walks around his desk to stand before him. When Fai doesn't look up, Kurogane swivels his seat around, leans over, and plants his hands on the armrests of his chair. They're so close that they could kiss, but Fai holds back, suddenly uncertain.

"How are you even a teacher if you're such a complete fool?" Kurogane says. There isn't menace in his eyes.

Before yesterday, Kurogane would most certainly not have been in such an intimate position with him. Fai stares, gulps. "You didn't answer my question, Kuro-rin."

Kurogane scoffs. "You didn't answer mine, either. Do you think I'd have spent so much time with the two of you if I couldn't stand your presence?"

"Well, there's always Yuui and he's a much better person than I am—"

"You're a person too. Don't you value yourself at all?"

Fai swallows, pulls away from that crimson gaze. "I— I—"

Kurogane swears quietly. "This is because of what I did, isn't it?"

A long pause stretches between them, and when Kurogane doesn't appear to be speaking anytime soon, Fai stutters, "It-It's easier— It's easier to believe that. So I don't expect anyone to like me back. You know?"

Kurogane sighs, and there's a mix of anger and maybe regret in his eyes. He hauls Fai in by the collar, kisses him breathless. When he pulls away, he growls, "Your worth as a person is not what others think of you. Remember that."

His head is swimming and all he can mumble is, "I don't want to get hurt again. It's painful. Why— Why me, Kuro-sama?"

"There's more to you than idiocy," Kurogane says slowly. "You're a good person. You're a real person when you aren't trying to hide under all your crap."

Fai tries to swallow past the brick in his throat. He wants to cry but he can't, he's due for a class soon.

Kurogane pulls him into a hug and pushes his face into the silky material of his track suit, holds him there. It smells like Kurogane, like dried sweat. "You're still an idiot."

"That's a term of endearment for you, isn't it?" Fai says weakly, his voice muffling. "I can't believe I didn't figure it out before—"

"Shut up."

There's still an ache in his chest, but this time, it's a good sort of aching.

* * *

**xxxv.**

Yuuko's influence reaches far and wide, and though it's two weeks into summer break, they're still back at school everyday, attending meetings of all sorts—with the staff of the other schools, with just the staff of Horitsuba High, meetings to discuss office decorations, and all manner of triviality that sets Kurogane two seconds away from bursting into flame.

Yuui is now a permanent part of the staff (Yuuko was quick to change his employee's status and put him to work in the kitchen; talk of completing his teaching education is an afterthought and the director cares more about snacks to go with her sake). His office is right by the Home Economics kitchens, so Fai has to make his way down if he wants a chat.

Fai doesn't mind. He's enjoying this term break very much; there aren't students in the kitchens and he can barge in whenever to kiss Yuui nine times out of ten. Yuuko has also hired a new assistant; a thin, high-strung man their age who storms into the kitchens every so often to either place a new order or run fresh-cooked appetizers up to their employer, complaining the entire time. It isn't often that he appears, though. Kurogane tags along on the kitchen visits frequently to "avoid that damn witch", but the twins read his intentions well enough.

They've all been friends for roughly six weeks and lovers for three.

For a time, things are nice. While Kurogane doesn't much initiate affection when they're in school, he doesn't oppose the occasional kiss or grope behind closed doors, and he's all but moved into their apartment at this point. (He tolerates the occasional mess that Yuui doesn't bother clearing, the whiteboard marker drawings on the bathroom mirror, and having spoonfuls of sweet desserts shoved in his mouth. Sometimes the twins find copies of the latest manga volumes lying around.)

(Fai has taken to reproducing cheesy manga panels on paper and substituting one of the main characters for Kurogane because "readers like to imagine themselves as characters in a story, Kuro-run."

"I don't read porn, you idiot! How dare you draw me into one of those?"

"But Kuro-sama is so sexy that he fits right in, don't you think, Yuui?"

"Fai! Don't involve me in that!")

They're on their way back to the staff apartments one evening when the sound of annoyed yelling rings around a corner. They turn to look out of curiosity, and Fai feels his insides squirm when they spot Yuuko's new hire shouting at a very familiar dark-haired man not twenty paces away.

"Isn't that Doumeki-san?" he blurts, flicking a wary look at Kurogane, who doesn't seem to be much surprised at all. Yuui stiffens next to him. "Kuro-pon?"

"Yeah."

The lecturing abruptly stops when Watanuki realizes that they've gained an audience. Doumeki follows his gaze.

"Yo," the taller of them says, lifting a hand. "Didn't think I'd see you here, Kurogane."

His hooded, almost-bored stare drifts over to Fai and Yuui, and Fai remembers things from an age ago, clasped hands and schoolgirl whispers.

"I thought I'd already mentioned it to you." Kurogane sighs. He glances at Fai and Yuui, then steps forward when Doumeki approaches them, Watanuki trailing behind. "You've met these two."

"Yo," Doumeki says to them. He studies them a little more carefully this time.

Fai wonders if Doumeki is aware that they're seeing Kurogane. He keeps his vague smile on, knows that Yuui is just as uncomfortable as he is. "Long time no see, Doumeki-san," they say.

"I didn't think all of you knew each other," Watanuki blurts.

"We do," Kurogane says. To Doumeki, he adds, "What're you doing here?"

Doumeki nods towards Watanuki. "He said he needed some help."

"Small world."

A sort of silence falls between them. It's awkward, full of unsaid words, and Fai touches Yuui's hand.

"We should go," Yuui says. "I've got to get back and make dinner."

Fai nods his agreement. Kurogane turns to Doumeki. "We'll catch up sometime." A pause later, "You seem to be in a better place."

"Same goes for you." Doumeki glances at Fai and Yuui again.

Kurogane waves, starts on his way back to the apartments, and Fai hurries after him with Yuui at his side.

_What do you think of that?_  Yuui's expression says.

_Think Kuro-rin misses him?_

An imperceptible shrug.  _I don't know._

_What about us? Will they want to get back together?_

Yuui's lips pull into a thin line. Their exchange has taken place in mere seconds—Kurogane is unaware of it as they fall into step behind him, turning out of sight of the pair they've left behind.

Fai slips his hand into Kurogane's, though it isn't until when they're back at their apartment that he asks, "Why did you break up?"

Yuui's listening in as well, even though his back is to them as he slices up a cabbage for dinner.

"He had to move away." Kurogane settles into one of the chairs by the kitchen table. "We figured it was for the best if we broke up."

Fai feels his breath turn to ice in his lungs, sees the minute tension in Yuui's shoulders.

"You think I'm going to get back together with him, don't you." Kurogane looks hard at each of them, and it feels as if those scarlet eyes are slicing through him and he can't hide anything at all. "Tch. I know we haven't been together long."

"Then it's all the easier to end things, isn't it?" Fai says before he can stop himself, and Yuui heaps a warning look on him.  _(Don't suggest things like that!)_

Kurogane releases a breath; there's a deep scowl on his face. "I'd knock some sense into your head, idiot, but I'd be afraid of knocking something loose. No, I'm not going to pursue him."

This time, Yuui turns, surprise written through his visage. "Why not?"

"It's too late. He's with Watanuki— For fuck's sake, stop looking at me like that." Kurogane glares at them both. "I gave you my word about this, didn't I?"

He gestures to indicate the three of them.

"You could always get tired of us. Me," Fai says. It's part of the reason why he and Yuui are savoring the time they share together. Despite how grateful they are for Kurogane in their lives, his presence isn't guaranteed—he isn't bound to them like they're bound by blood to each other. There's nothing to stop him from leaving a void in the space they've made for him.

Red eyes glint; Kurogane slams a palm on the table. He's suddenly on his feet.

"I told you to fucking stop that," he says, voice like rolling thunder. "I'm not leaving."

Fai exhanges a glance with Yuui. They're in shock, disbelieving of their luck even now. "You care that much for us, Kuro-sama?"

"What does it look like?" Kurogane bristles. "What do I have to do to send it through your thick skulls?"

The kitchen rings with silence. Yuui sets his knife down. There isn't very much Kurogane can do that he hasn't already done, Fai realizes. They've talked, they're all but living together, and they're fitting each other more snugly into their lives. Even with the reappearance of his ex, Kurogane has chosen to return home with them. ("Home" means all three of them now, not just two.)

Yuui is relieved, and so is he. As one, they spring at Kurogane, tackling him against the fridge with a muffled thump. He swears at them.

Yuui nuzzles into his neck; Fai purrs, kisses his cheek. "We really, really like you, Kuro-sama," he breathes, and it feels like hearthfire when he admits, "You're very important to us."

"We're sharing our most important person with you," Yuui adds, claiming his lips. Fai nudges him away to steal a kiss.

"I know that." Kurogane's arms snake around their waists; he toys with their belt loops. His forehead smooths out.

"You're going to be very, very tired of us," Fai says. He's tucking a hand into Kurogane's back pocket and squeezing Yuui's butt, pulling all three of them close together.

"You're going to get tired of Fai's snoring," Yuui mumbles against Kurogane's jaw, tangling his fingers with his twin's.

"And Yuui's stinky feet."

"I don't have stinky feet."

"Then I don't snore."

"Sure you do."

"You're both idiots," Kurogane repeats, but he's smiling and neither of them are going to mention it, because then he won't stop.

_orange_  
is safety is warmth is home  
is the dirt road we'll take to get to get there, running ever forward  
is no easy path to walk but we'll get there  
if you promise you'll wait at the end of it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for following Ternary this far! I hope this did not disappoint.. and thank you for joining me on this ride. :)
> 
> Up next on the posting schedule: _ink, fire and fiddle_ , which is the Yama arc for the "sword to my shield" series. :) I'm still writing chapter 4 of that.. but chapter 1 will be up next week. :)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure if there's a KFY fic like this out there.. the idea just sprang into my head one day and wouldn't let go. :)
> 
> The poem "Orange" is written by me. I'd wanted to borrow one instead, but there wasn't any that fit this story, so. There is really such a thing as the winter hexagon, and the canis major constellation (Big Dog) really is in it with gemini (the Twins). ;) Coincidence?
> 
> Would love to hear your thoughts on this, be it about chemistry, school, first loves, or anything at all. :) It was so surprisingly easy to write the relationship between Fai and Yuui in this fic.


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